Khadi OluwatoyinKhadi Oluwatoyin
Back from Broken
Khadi Oluwatoyin created her own recovery group for Black women and nonbinary folks to help others — and herself — through recovery.
30:36•11 Aug 2023
Khadi Oluwatoyin: Building Sober Black Girls Club and Redefining Recovery
Episode Overview
- Alcohol can feel like a helpful escape at first, but over time it can become a daily necessity that masks deeper issues of self-worth and stress.
- Stereotypes about what an alcoholic or addict should look like can stop people from recognising their own problem and seeking effective help.
- Traditional 12-step spaces may not feel safe or relevant for everyone, especially when race and cultural experiences can’t be discussed openly.
- Creating culturally specific recovery communities, like Sober Black Girls Club, can give people space to talk honestly about race, gender, rest and identity.
- Reading and discussing works like bell hooks’ *Sisters of the Yam* can support self-recovery by shifting focus from achievements to self-love and autonomy.
“We welcome all pathways because we know that not one way is going to work for everybody.”
Curious about how others manage their sobriety journey? This episode follows Khadi (also referred to as Katie) Oluwatoyin, a high-achieving New York lawyer who realises that alcohol is quietly running the show in her life. From star student and sorority girl to exhausted young attorney, Khadi describes how booze shifted from “magical” escape to daily necessity.
She shares how weekends of heavy drinking turned into using cheap liquor just to sleep after long days fuelled by caffeine while studying for the bar. One moment that stands out is her Ramadan experience, when she stopped drinking and began “itching violently”, only to later realise, “My body was having withdrawal from alcohol,” something no doctor had picked up on.
You’ll hear Khadi unpack the pressures of being one of only a handful of Black students in a predominantly white law school, and how myths about Black students not passing the bar piled on extra weight. She also talks about entering rehab, only to compare herself to others and think, “You don’t have a problem… you just have to drink less,” showing how stereotypes about what an “addict” looks like can delay getting honest help.
The heart of the episode is Khadi’s decision to create the Sober Black Girls Club after struggling to see herself reflected in traditional recovery rooms. She wanted a space where Black women and nonbinary people could speak openly about race, identity, rest, and self-worth, and where “we welcome all pathways” to recovery. Bell hooks’ book *Sisters of the Yam* becomes a key touchstone, helping the group talk about self-recovery, autonomy and the impact of racism on self-image.
This conversation is raw, funny in places, and deeply human. If you’ve ever felt out of place in recovery spaces, Khadi’s story might nudge you to ask: what kind of support circle would actually feel like home to you?
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