Life After Losing Your Soulmate with Derrik DykaLife After Losing Your Soulmate with Derrik Dyka
Anonymous Andrew
Widower Derek Dyka shares how he rebuilt his life through travel, community and small acts of courage after losing his wife of 24 years. The conversation touches on grief, midlife loneliness, memory rituals and the challenges of dating over 50 in a polarised culture.
1:03:45•27 Jul 2026
Life After Losing Your Soulmate: Derek Dyka on Grief, Travel and Connection Over 50
Episode Overview
- There is no clear guide for becoming single again in your 50s after a long marriage, and acknowledging that uncertainty can be a first honest step.
- Simple social contact – being seen, saying hello, sharing a meal – can ease loneliness more than grand gestures.
- Travel and trying new environments can open unexpected doors to friendship and perspective, especially when home feels heavy with memories.
- Creating tangible rituals, such as Derek’s engraved memory stones, can help keep a loved one’s presence alive while allowing life to move forward.
- Midlife dating is affected by cultural polarisation, and focusing on basic human connection rather than political labels may make meeting people easier.
“There’s no playbook… we binge watch Netflix, close our garage door, we don’t even know our neighbour’s name anymore.”
What drives someone to seek a life without their soulmate at their side? This conversation follows Derek Dyka, author of *Good Grief Travel*, as he talks about losing his wife of 24 years, Sun, and what happens when the future you carefully planned suddenly vanishes.
Speaking with host Anonymous Andrew, Derek shares how his wife’s pancreatic cancer diagnosis left him widowed within two months, just as they were on the brink of semi-retirement and dreaming of a quiet mountain life in Colorado. Instead of disappearing into isolation, he hit the road. From Tokyo to the Philippine islands, Bali, China and beyond, Derek explains how travel, open water swimming and chance encounters slowly pulled him out of the worst of his grief.
You’ll hear him describe the shock of loneliness at 55: no "playbook", empty nest, and a culture where, as he puts it, “we binge watch Netflix, close our garage door, we don’t even know our neighbour’s name anymore.” He contrasts this with the warmth he found abroad, where strangers in places like the Philippines and China invited him into their lives, turning solo trips into unexpected friendships.
Derek also talks about the memory stones he created to honour his wife, leaving engraved river rocks around the globe – including in her childhood village in rural China – to keep her “still exploring”. Along the way, he reflects on dating over 50, the polarisation showing up even on dating apps, and why he now craves big, busy cities instead of a secluded retirement.
For anyone facing loss, midlife loneliness or the shock of being single again, Derek’s story offers something simple yet brave: get out the door, say hello, and let connection start from there. Who might be waiting on the other side of that first small step?
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