Loss And Living: A Life With Purpose

Loss And Living: A Life With Purpose

What remarkable journeys have people faced head‑on against addiction and loss? This conversation on Addict II Athlete sits right in the middle of that question, as Coach Blu Robinson talks with Desmond and Alison Lomax about life after their son Mateen died by suicide in 2019. Rather than pretending things are fine, Desmond and Alison speak with a raw honesty that many grieving parents rarely get to show.

Desmond explains that after Mateen’s death, they had to embrace “radical acceptance of our brokenness,” adding, “The first step is just understanding you’re not okay, and you’re going to be broken for a minute. And that’s okay.

Don’t let the world rush you into being okay.” You’ll hear how their new podcast, *Loss and Living*, grew from feeling like they’d joined “the shittiest club on the planet” – parents who’ve lost a child – and their wish to create a place where grief, questions and anger are all allowed.

They speak about moving house for their own sanity, showing up “broken” instead of polished, and seeing grief as both a “crappy” and “sacred” club because it deepens tenderness towards others. The episode also gets into parenting after loss: loosening control, owning shame, and putting relationship before rules. Alison openly shares how learning about shame changed the way she parents, shifting from control and criticism to apology, repair and genuine support.

Desmond talks about letting go of expectations for his kids and simply wanting them “to be”. Faith, race, and community expectations are all brought into the mix, from their LDS background to their daughter being called the n-word at school, and how that shaped her feelings about church. Through it all, the pair keep coming back to one idea: you can hurt deeply and still live honestly, lovingly and with purpose.

If you’ve ever wondered how to keep going when your heart feels shattered, this one might speak straight to you.