107: Bravery, Brotherhood, and the Courage to Heal - Dave Allsup107: Bravery, Brotherhood, and the Courage to Heal - Dave Allsup
Finding Strength Podcast
Retired firefighter Dave Allsup shares how years of trauma, sleepless nights and heavy drinking led to a detailed suicide plan, and how his wife, crew and treatment at Deer Hollow shifted him toward choosing life. The conversation focuses on first responder culture, the power of brotherhood, and learning to believe you actually deserve help and love.
58:59•8 May 2026
Bravery, Brotherhood and Choosing Life: Firefighter Dave Allsup’s Story
Episode Overview
- Self-medicating trauma with alcohol and sleep aids can mask pain temporarily but often worsens nightmares, anxiety, and daily functioning.
- Speaking up to a partner, crew, or trusted person may feel terrifying, yet loved ones are often far more supportive than the mind predicts.
- Peer support within first responder communities can literally save lives when colleagues refuse to look the other way and insist on help.
- Residential treatment and ongoing aftercare give practical tools that can be reused years later, especially in moments of relapse in thinking or mood.
- Believing you deserve love and support is a crucial shift that can turn vague survival into a life that feels, as Dave says, like a solid "B-plus."
“"If you can pick up that 10,000-pound phone and just ask for help, you will get it."”
Experience the emotional and inspiring tales of recovery as firefighter and paramedic Dave Allsup opens up about nearly three decades on the front lines and the hidden cost it took on his mental health. Aimed at first responders, their families, and anyone wrestling with trauma, addiction, or suicidal thoughts, this conversation lays out what it can look like to go from the brink of ending it all to cautiously rebuilding a life that feels worth staying for.
Dave talks honestly about years of nightmares, chronic lack of sleep, and using alcohol and medication just to knock himself out at night.
He describes carrying a "full backpack" of traumatic calls and reaching the point where he had a detailed plan to die, saying there was "about a quarter pound of trigger pull between me and eternity." The turning point came through a mix of his wife’s courage, the quiet loyalty of his crew, and one life-changing phone call to Deer Hollow. You’ll hear how his fellow firefighters literally surrounded him at the station, told him, "We’re not letting you go.
Not like this," and pushed him to accept treatment. Dave shares his initial reluctance, fears about losing his job, and the relief of being met by Deer Hollow’s Lisa as a human being rather than an insurance policy. From there he talks about treatment, learning that he actually deserves love, and why he now gives his life a solid "B-plus" instead of assuming he won’t make it to 50.
The tone is raw but warm, with host Matt Quackenbush adding clinical perspective and gentle humour, and Brindy highlighting the bravery of speaking up. Anyone stuck in self-medication or silent suffering will hear practical hope: ask for help, lean on your crew, and keep using the tools, even at 3 a.m. when all you can manage is opening an old recovery binder. Could this be the nudge you need to pick up that "10,000-pound phone" and say something?
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