Melissa's Story
Melissa's Story

Voices In Recovery Podcast

Melissa shares her experiences of sobriety in 12-step rooms shaped by racism, misogyny and rising right-wing politics, while still valuing the support they once gave her. The conversation questions what a truly safe recovery space looks like for queer people, survivors and those committed to anti-racism.

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1:43:41•3 Jun 2026

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Melissa’s Story: Sobriety, Anti-Racism and Calling Out Harm in the Rooms

Episode Overview

12-step rooms can be deeply unsafe for queer, gender non-conforming people and survivors of abuse, even while presenting as spiritual and community-focused.
Racism, far-right propaganda and Christian nationalism are increasingly visible in recovery spaces, and often go unchallenged or are quietly defended.
White people, especially white women, are urged to take responsibility for their own deprogramming around racism and patriarchy instead of centring their comfort.
There is value in parts of 12-step culture, but no one is obliged to stay in rooms where they feel harmed; recovery can involve leaving as an act of self-preservation.
Reading widely, especially authors from Black, Indigenous and other marginalised communities, is framed as a key way to understand history, power and one’s own conditioning.

“Do whatever you need to do to stay alive. I don’t give a fuck what that is.”

Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? Melissa’s conversation on Voices In Recovery pulls you straight into the messy, complicated intersection of recovery, politics, racism, queerness, and community – with zero sugar-coating. Melissa talks openly about staying in 12-step rooms that feel increasingly unsafe for gender non-conforming and queer people, and for people of colour.

She describes rooms where “it is a safe place to be an abuser,” where domestic and sexual violence, racism, and open contempt for queer folks go unchecked, while those who challenge it get told to “tone it down” and “grow a thicker skin.” The host, a queer man and long-time social worker, shares his own experience of leaving the rooms after years of hearing slurs and watching predators be protected while survivors disappeared.

Yet both he and Melissa still recognise the parts of 12-step life that helped: the space to say, “I feel like I’m suicidal… I’m homicidal,” without being immediately locked away. Together, they talk about anti-racism work, the global rise of far-right politics, trad wives, Christian nationalism, and how those currents ripple straight into recovery spaces.

Melissa stresses the importance of white people doing their own homework – through literature, history, and hearing from Black, Indigenous and other writers – instead of expecting people of colour to fix racism for them. Underneath the swearing and dark humour, there’s a steady message: “Do whatever you need to do to stay alive.

I don’t give a fuck what that is.” If you’ve ever felt torn between needing sobriety support and refusing to shrink who you are to get it, this conversation might have you asking: what kind of recovery community do you actually want to belong to?

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