Mess it Up Show 434 - TemperanceMess it Up Show 434 - Temperance
Mess It Up Podcast
In the final show of our Fruit of the Spirit Seri…
35:51•28 Jul 2026
Temperance, Self-Control and Recovery: Mess It Up’s Fruit Finale
Episode Overview
- Self-control is closely tied to selfishness; learning temperance often means releasing the need to have everything your way.
- Community support through groups like AA and Celebrate Recovery helps people regain self-control when cravings or emotions intensify.
- Open share groups teach the discipline of listening, resisting the urge to fix others, and respecting silence.
- Shifting from a self-focused mindset to a servant mindset changes how setbacks, delays, and frustrations are viewed.
- The Fruit of the Spirit is one united whole; love sits at the centre and supports qualities like gentleness and self-control.
“Most of the time when we look at self-control issues, it’s selfishness. I want it my way… if we want to learn how to have better self-control, that means we’ve got to let go of our need to control.”
Curious about how others manage their sobriety while wrestling with everyday temptations? This episode of Mess It Up brings together the Bow Tie Guy and Pastor Kevin for a relaxed yet honest chat about temperance, wrapping up their Fruit of the Spirit series with a focus on self-control. The tone stays light and jokey at times, but the conversation moves into very real territory: habits, addictions, food, shopping, even collecting too many Bibles.
Pastor Kevin, who works in mental and behavioural health and addiction support, talks about how his “all or nothing” mindset showed up not just in alcohol, but in everything from drinking water to buying yet another study Bible. He links this to ADHD and the familiar pattern of becoming obsessed with whatever is in front of him. Self-control is framed less as gritting your teeth and more as shifting from self-centred thinking to a servant mindset.
As Kevin puts it, many “self-control issues” are really about selfishness – wanting things our way, on our timetable. He shares how people in recovery often say, “When I feel like I’m losing my self-control, I go to a meeting,” underlining how community, AA, and Celebrate Recovery groups help keep people accountable and grounded.
The pair also talk about old-school Celebrate Recovery guidelines, learning to sit in silence in open share groups, and why sometimes people don’t need another Bible verse – they just need someone to say, “I get it.” A song break with 10th Avenue North’s “Control (Somehow You Want Me)” leads into a powerful reminder that God has “plans to redeem and restore” and that stepping into the Spirit’s “yoke” means letting God take the heavier load.
If self-control feels like your weak spot in recovery, this chat might leave you asking: where can you let God and your community share the weight?
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