Narcisssistic Abuse Informed Trauma N.A.R.C. Troopers w P PesquedaNarcisssistic Abuse Informed Trauma N.A.R.C. Troopers w P Pesqueda
N.A.R.C. Troopers: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Collaborators
Prajinta Pesqueda talks about complex trauma, narcissistic abuse and why it often leads to CPTSD and maladaptive coping. She shares validation, practical ideas for support, and encouragement for building self-worth and inner safety after leaving a narcissist.
40:34•19 Jun 2026
Stacked Trauma, Narcissistic Abuse and Finding Yourself Again
Episode Overview
- Complex trauma can build over years like stacked "pancakes" of childhood abuse, adult stress and repeated toxic relationships.
- Narcissistic abuse creates a unique pattern of symptoms, including shared fantasy and intense psychological pull, that generic therapy may miss.
- Maladaptive coping such as drinking, drug use, compulsive sex, gambling and overspending can be attempts to escape unprocessed pain.
- Effective recovery usually requires a mix of supports, including trauma-informed professionals and groups that understand narcissistic abuse.
- Healing means learning to validate yourself, care for your own needs, and sit with trauma until its intensity eases rather than running from it.
“"You're not crazy. If you have been with a narcissist and now you're not and you're going through something absolutely indescribably insane... I believe you because I've been through it."”
Curious about how others manage trauma after narcissistic abuse? This N.A.R.C. Troopers episode with teacher and recovery collaborator Prajinta Pesqueda looks at how different kinds of trauma stack up and why narcissistic abuse hits so differently from "regular" bad relationships. Prajinta breaks down complex trauma (CPTSD) as "pancakes just stacked on top of one another"—childhood neglect, emotional or spiritual abuse, generational pain, and later adult shocks.
She explains how this build-up can leave you feeling incomplete and chasing someone to "complete" you, which often makes narcissistic partners feel irresistible, even when your gut is screaming to run. You’ll hear her talk through collective trauma (like 9/11), self-inflicted trauma through negative self-talk and maladaptive coping (drugs, alcohol, compulsive sex, shopping, gambling), and the desperate urge to escape feelings you’ve never been taught to sit with.
She stresses that real healing usually needs a mix of supports: trauma-informed therapists, group work, and people who truly understand narcissistic abuse rather than slapping on "one size fits all" grief counselling. One of the strongest messages here is validation. As Prajinta puts it, "You're not crazy" if you’re dealing with insomnia, panic, obsessive thoughts and feel like you’ve been living in a shared fantasy with a narcissist.
She compares their pull to a Star Wars–style "death star" tractor beam and explains how they drain your energy, mirror you, and leave you feeling empty and confused. Yet there’s hope running through every story she shares. Trauma may not vanish, but she argues it softens over time as you learn to sit beside it, honour it, and build self-care, faith and inner safety.
If you’ve ever wondered whether what you went through "counts" as trauma—or why it’s taking so long to feel normal again—this conversation might be exactly the validation and clarity you’ve been waiting for. What would change for you if you stopped running from your pain and started getting curious about it instead?
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