One on One With Coach Blu: Emotional HolidaysOne on One With Coach Blu: Emotional Holidays
Addict II Athlete Podcast
Coach Blu and Marissa talk candidly about why holidays can feel so raw for people in recovery, especially with family trauma and expectations in the mix. Through listener calls and personal stories, they focus on boundaries, safety plans, and the idea that relationships should be a privilege, not an obligation.
1:08:01•26 Nov 2020
Emotional Holidays, Tough Families and Protecting Your Sobriety
Episode Overview
- You’re not responsible for keeping everyone else happy during holidays; your sobriety and safety come first.
- Have a clear plan for any gathering where alcohol or difficult people may be present, including your own transport and an easy exit.
- It is acceptable to avoid events or relatives who minimise your trauma or flip blame back onto you.
- Some relationships may need to be released, especially if they never functioned in a healthy way in the first place.
- When biological family can’t offer support, recovery communities can step in with genuine connection and inclusion.
“"It's a privilege to have a relationship with you, not a right."”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey during the festive season? This conversation with Coach Blu and Marissa from Addict II Athlete zooms in on exactly that tricky mix of recovery, family, and holidays. Kicking off with light-hearted chat about Christmas decorations and Thanksgiving plans under COVID, the tone quickly shifts into real talk about how emotional these days can be if you've lived through addiction, trauma, or messy family dynamics.
Coach Blu points out a common frustration in recovery: families say they want change, but "they go and they have this desire to want to change… and they come back… and all of a sudden they have opinions and thoughts and feelings" – and not everyone is ready for that new version of you.
You’ll hear practical suggestions for staying safe and sober at family gatherings: take your own car, keep an exit plan, and remember, "if you don't have a plan… you plan to fail." There’s a strong message that your sobriety comes first, even if that means leaving early or not going at all.
The episode really lands when callers Donnell and Selena share deeply personal situations: a daughter inviting her abusive father to Thanksgiving, and an ex-husband making wildly inappropriate comments in front of family. Coach Blu and Marissa respond by reinforcing boundaries: it’s okay to say no, it’s okay to skip the gathering, and it’s okay to sacrifice a relationship "that truly didn't exist" if it keeps you safe.
Running through everything is a clear reminder that "it's a privilege to have a relationship with you, not a right" – a powerful reframe for anyone who’s ever felt forced to endure toxic family patterns in the name of tradition. If holidays tend to stir up more dread than joy, this chat might help you rethink what you actually owe others and what you owe yourself.
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