One on One With Coach Blu: What is GaslightingOne on One With Coach Blu: What is Gaslighting
Addict II Athlete Podcast
Coach Blu and Marisa explain gaslighting in clear, practical terms and connect it to addiction recovery, family relationships, and grief. Caller stories bring the concepts to life, highlighting how guilt, love and boundaries collide in real situations.
59:08•15 Jun 2021
Gaslighting, Guilt and Boundaries: Coach Blu Breaks It Down
Episode Overview
- Gaslighting is described as psychological abuse that causes a person to doubt their memories, perceptions, and sanity.
- Common gaslighting tactics include questioning memories, withholding engagement, trivialising feelings, denial, and stereotyping.
- Feeling constantly confused, second-guessing decisions, and frequently apologising can be signs that gaslighting is occurring.
- Healthy boundaries involve deciding what you are genuinely willing to do, stating it calmly, and not letting another person’s urgency become your own.
- Grief over losing loved ones, including animals, is valid and can highlight a person’s capacity for deep love rather than a reason to shut down emotionally.
“It’s a privilege to have a relationship with you, not a right.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This time, the focus lands on a subtle but damaging issue that many in recovery quietly face: gaslighting. Coach Blu Robinson, a licensed mental health therapist and substance use disorder counsellor, breaks down what gaslighting actually is, where the term came from, and how it shows up in everyday relationships, especially where addiction has been part of the story.
He explains it as “a form of psychological abuse” that makes someone question their sanity, memories, and reality, then walks through patterns like countering, withholding, trivialising, denial, and stereotyping with clear, relatable examples. Cohost and Recreational Therapist Marisa Robinson joins the conversation, helping ground the theory with practical boundaries and straight-talking advice. A standout moment comes from a caller, Donell, who shares her struggle with feeling gaslit by her adult daughter around an upcoming wedding.
Her raw honesty adds real emotional weight, especially as she balances past guilt from addiction with her desire to be a present, healthy mum. Coach Blu and Marisa keep things compassionate but firm, stressing ideas like “your urgency is not my urgency” and the importance of choosing what you’re genuinely willing to do, rather than caving to guilt.
Later, another listener, Dawn, shares the deep pain of losing two rescued pit bulls, opening up a discussion about grief, love, and why a big heart hurts more but also holds more. You’ll come away with a clearer sense of what gaslighting looks like, why it’s so damaging, and how to start protecting your mental health without losing yourself in guilt or conflict.
If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation wondering, “Am I the problem, or is something else going on?”, this might be the episode that helps things finally click. Where might gaslighting be quietly shaping your own view of yourself, and what small boundary could you set next?
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