One on One with Coach Blu: Learning To LoveOne on One with Coach Blu: Learning To Love
Addict II Athlete Podcast
Coach Blu and Marissa talk about the three stages of love, how addiction and hurt affect relationships, and why people in recovery are still capable of deep connection. Their conversation blends personal stories, practical analogies and gentle encouragement to start loving others and yourself again.
40:29•16 Feb 2023
Learning to Love Again: Coach Blu on Relationships, Recovery and Self‑Worth
Episode Overview
- Love is framed in three stages: falling in love, falling out of love, and learning how to love and be loved, with the third stage offering the deepest growth.
- Many in addiction recovery feel unworthy of love, yet the hosts stress that no one is "broken" beyond the ability to give and receive affection.
- One-sided relationships are compared to slot machines that never pay out, prompting reflection on where emotional investment is actually returned.
- Avoiding honest conversations about sex, needs and hurt almost always leads to distance; communication is presented as essential for real intimacy.
- Simple acts of care – from team support on a hockey rink to family talks at home – can create powerful ripple effects far beyond the immediate moment.
“You’re not broken people… you still have the full capacity to love and to be loved.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety while trying to mend their hearts and relationships? This candid chat with Coach Blu Robinson and recreational therapist Marissa Robinson looks at what it means to "learn how to love" after addiction, relapse, betrayal and grief. Aimed at people in recovery, their partners, and anyone feeling "too broken" for love, the conversation keeps circling back to one core message: connection is vital.
As Blu puts it plainly, "You’re not broken people… you still have the full capacity to love and to be loved." The pair break love down into three stages: "stage one, falling in love; stage two, falling out of love; and stage three, learning how to love and learning how to be loved." Stage one is all butterflies and late-night phone calls; stage two is the slow drift, the "dead bedroom", the masks coming off and resentment building.
The good news is that stage three exists – a mature, steady love where both people give more and keep growing together. Using a brilliant slot machine metaphor, Blu compares relationships to investing money: some people drain you, some break even, and a rare few give you back far more than you put in. That picture hits hard for anyone who’s stayed too long in one-sided relationships with partners, parents or friends.
They also link love to everyday actions in recovery: honest communication about sex and intimacy, showing affection to children, and small daily gestures like a text or holding a door. One powerful story about a hockey team helping an autistic boy score a goal shows how a single loving act can ripple far beyond the moment.
If you’ve ever thought "who would want to invest in this hot mess?", this conversation gently challenges that belief and asks a simple question: what if you allowed yourself to be loved as much as you give love away?
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