Our BPD Wasn't Our Fault (Feat. Lu)Our BPD Wasn't Our Fault (Feat. Lu)
Bold Beautiful Borderline
Lu shares their experience of abuse, misdiagnosis, sectioning and racism while living with BPD, and reflects on building a loving, stable relationship. The conversation centres on shame, validation and the reminder that BPD "wasn’t our fault" even though the work of healing is still ours.
40:01•1 Nov 2026
Our BPD Wasn't Our Fault: Lu on Diagnosis, Shame and Finding Real Love
Episode Overview
- BPD and CPTSD can stem from severe childhood abuse and neglect, but those outcomes are not the child’s fault.
- Accurate diagnosis and access to therapy and practical strategies are essential, rather than relying only on medication.
- Hospitalisation can feel both protective and dehumanising, making compassionate staff crucial to a sense of safety.
- Healthy relationships with BPD are possible when both partners communicate openly, accept conflict and separate problems from personal worth.
- External anchors such as pets, routines and daily movement can help build motivation and a sense of normality amid chronic emptiness.
“It wasn’t your fault, and it sucks that you have to fix it, but it really wasn’t your fault.”
In this conversation, Lu (known online as BorderlineAuntie and The Honest Borderline) talks with host Sarah about living with Borderline Personality Disorder in a small British town, and why they believe, "we are very deeply empathetic, kind, passionate people that can live very long, happy lives." You’ll hear Lu trace their path from a childhood marked by domestic and sexual abuse, bullying, and racism, through years of misdiagnosis and minimisation from doctors who wrote everything off as hormones or "manic depression." The turning point comes when a psychiatrist finally names EUPD and CPTSD and, crucially, tells Lu they need therapy and strategies as well as medication.
What drives someone to seek a life that feels possible after years of chaos and shame? That moment of being "seen" becomes a big theme, especially for anyone who’s bounced around services feeling invisible. Lu also talks frankly about being sectioned in the UK, the mix of kindness and dehumanisation in hospital settings, and the strange reality of feeling safer with empathetic police than with underfunded mental health systems.
There’s humour in the absurd details—like staring at a fake waterfall velcroed to a door—but the emotional weight of shame and restriction sits just beneath the surface. A big part of the discussion centres on relationships and daily life: living as a mixed-race couple in a racist town, managing chronic emptiness and emotional "amnesia," and using pets and routines as anchors for motivation and self-care.
Lu’s description of their supportive partner will give hope to anyone convinced they’re "too much" to be loved, while their reminder that breakups don’t erase real love offers a grounded perspective on attachment and loss. Lu closes with a message many people with BPD need to hear: "It wasn’t your fault. And it sucks that you have to fix it.
But it really wasn’t your fault." If that sentence lands in your chest, this conversation might be exactly what you need today.
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