Reggie R. 46 years old sober: 11/29/04

Reggie R. 46 years old sober: 11/29/04

How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation with Reggie R offers a grounded, honest look at what it can take to stop drinking and stay stopped. At 30 years old, high on the L train under the East River, Reggie heard a line in his own head that changed everything: “You’re not just going to grow out of this… More drinking, more drugs, more often.

And if you want this to stop, you have to do something.” From there, he shares how daily marijuana use, blackout drinking, and lonely karaoke nights pushed him into Marijuana Anonymous and then AA, helped along by a therapist who finally said what he already suspected: “Yeah, I think it is” a problem.

Reggie talks frankly about being the “mean” friend who didn’t show up, random hookups tied to booze and drugs, and the slow erosion of his relationships until one friend simply said, “You’re just too much for me.” The episode digs into early recovery: fake day-counting, comparing bottoms, strange AA language, and why “surrender to win” and the promise that “you will become the person you always intended to be” became anchors in his first 90 days.

One of the most powerful sections centres on Reggie’s amends to his father, who died of AIDS in the mid-90s. Initially full of rage and a sense of betrayal, he explains how a fourth step and a visit to the cemetery shifted him from black-and-white judgement to compassion and a different relationship with his dad, even after death.

Reggie also speaks to long-term sobriety: avoiding staleness by remembering he goes to meetings to help others, not just to get help, and how simple service like making coffee made him feel part of something. If you’ve ever wondered whether your drinking is “bad enough” or struggled with resentment toward family, this story might feel uncomfortably familiar—in a helpful way. What part of Reggie’s journey do you see in your own?