Relative Strangers
Relative Strangers

The Right Mind Media Podcast

Conversation with B.K. Jackson and Lisa Coppola about DNA shocks, identity trauma, and the emotional and health impacts of unexpected family secrets. The hosts and guests talk about grief, rejection, community support and the need for better professional understanding of these experiences.

HonestInformativeInspiringSupportiveEye-opening

27:44•28 Jun 2026

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Relative Strangers, DNA Shocks and Identity Trauma

Episode Overview

DNA test results can trigger "identity trauma", with many people reporting anxiety, depression, panic and a major shift in their sense of self.
Grief around missed relationships, lost narratives and rejection is common, yet often minimised by others as if nothing has really changed.
Most therapists and health professionals are not yet trained to address misattributed parentage or DNA surprises, leaving a gap in support.
Knowing accurate genetic history can be critical for health screening and preventive care, making biological information a serious medical issue.
Both guests stress the importance of slowing down reunions, setting boundaries and finding community with others who share similar experiences.

“"People describe to me feeling like their story's been rewritten overnight. Who am I? Where did I come from? What is even true about my family?"”

What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? This conversation on The Right Mind Media Podcast takes a different angle on trauma and healing, looking at what happens when a simple DNA kit blows up your idea of who you are. Editor and author B.K.

Jackson shares how she went from believing she had a small, familiar family to learning that "I have had introduced into my life 10 relative strangers" and that the man who raised her wasn't her biological father. Her experience of late-life shocks, family secrets and "disenfranchised grief" sets the tone for the anthology Relative Strangers: Inheritance, Identity, and the Meaning of Kinship. Therapist and writer Lisa Coppola brings both professional and personal experience.

As an adoptee, in long-term reunion and in recovery herself, she talks about DNA surprises as "an identity trauma" that can trigger anxiety, depression, panic and a deep loss of self. She describes clients who feel like "their story's been rewritten overnight" and shares her own powerful essay about meeting biological relatives and having a meltdown in the supermarket produce aisle.

Hosted by addiction specialist Jon Cohan and clinical social worker Abby Dean, the episode speaks directly to anyone who knows what it's like to have the rug pulled out from under them – whether by addiction, mental health struggles, or a family secret. You'll hear about the emotional fall-out of unexpected DNA results, the gap in trained mental health support, and the serious health risks of not knowing your genetic background.

For people in sobriety or considering it, there’s a strong thread here: the importance of truth, slowing down big decisions, finding community, and making space for grief others might try to minimise. It might leave you asking: if your story suddenly changed, who would you turn to, and how would you look after yourself?

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