Same Sh*t, Different Spiral: Relapse, emotional sobriety, and the old grooves that keep calling us backSame Sh*t, Different Spiral: Relapse, emotional sobriety, and the old grooves that keep calling us back
Telling On Ourselves
Three sober friends talk about relapse as slipping back into old emotional and behavioural patterns, not just drinking, using humour and honesty. They share personal examples and practical tools for emotional sobriety, accountability and spotting the warning signs before things spiral.
1:03:20•13 Aug 2026
Same Sh*t, Different Spiral: When Relapse Is More Than Just Drinking
Episode Overview
- Relapse is described as slipping back into a former, usually worse state, and is applied to behaviours like gossip, avoidance and control, not just drinking.
- Emotional sobriety is framed as the hard work that begins after detox, when the obsession to use fades and deeper issues start to surface.
- Old childhood coping patterns, such as people-pleasing and avoidance, are shown to persist in adult recovery and can feel almost automatic.
- Relapse prevention plans are likened to dashboard gauges and warning lights, helping people spot early signs that things are heading in a bad direction.
- Community support, sponsorship, honest feedback and tools like journaling are highlighted as vital supports when someone starts to slip back into old grooves.
“Relapse is an act of slipping or falling back into a former, usually worse state after experiencing a period of improvement.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This chat on **Telling On Ourselves** pulls apart the idea of relapse and shows it’s about far more than just picking up a drink. Lynn, Vikki and their friend Mark keep things funny and very human as they admit their own slip-ups, control issues and "wagon wheel ruts" that are hard to climb out of.
Right from the start, Mark’s forgotten recording session sets the tone: recovery isn’t neat, and control can vanish in a heartbeat. From there, the trio zoom in on a broader definition of relapse. As Lynn reads, "Relapse is an act of slipping or falling back into a former, usually worse state after experiencing a period of improvement." They apply this to gossiping, people-pleasing, avoidance, resentment and old childhood survival strategies that still show up decades later.
You’ll hear Lynn talk about emotional sobriety being "the big hurdle" once the obsession to drink or use lifts, and how slipping back into gossip now feels "so icky". Vikki opens up about lifelong avoidant behaviour that started in chaotic childhood and still tempts her to say "that’s fine" when it isn’t. Mark brings in his work in behavioural health, describing relapse prevention plans like dashboards full of warning lights, and community as part of those gauges.
There’s plenty of humour – from "meow meow land" to Mark’s alternative slogan, "Bake a pie, eat a pie" – but the conversation stays grounded in very real struggles: denial around relapse, the pull of familiar patterns, and the need to surrender and seek help. If you’re curious about how emotional and behavioural relapses show up in long-term recovery, this episode offers candid stories, practical tools, and a reminder that everyone falls; the trick is what you do next.
So where are your own wagon wheel ruts still pulling you back, and who’s helping you climb out?
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