Self Examination and Confession: Steps 4 & 5Self Examination and Confession: Steps 4 & 5
Alcoholics Alive!
Shank and Wayne talk through AA’s Steps 4 and 5, focusing on simple self-examination, honest confession and clearing up common fears and myths. Their experiences, including working these steps while incarcerated, highlight how straightforward tools can lead to greater freedom in sobriety.
35:40•15 Sept 2026
Self-Examination and Confession: Making AA’s Steps 4 & 5 Less Scary
Episode Overview
- Honest self-examination and confession are presented as key to feeling freer and closer to a higher power.
- Steps 4 and 5 do not have to be complicated; sticking to the simple Big Book format is emphasised over lengthy workbooks.
- Fear about forgetting something or not being perfectly honest is addressed by suggesting later corrections rather than panic.
- A Fifth Step confession can be shared with various trustworthy people, not strictly a sponsor, as long as there is genuine honesty.
- Personal stories show that even incarceration does not prevent meaningful work on Steps 4 and 5 when kept practical and focused.
“I guess the bottom line for that, if we're honest about something, we do become free from it.”
What drives someone to seek a life where they actually look at themselves, not everyone else? This episode of *Alcoholics Alive!* zooms in on AA’s Steps 4 and 5 — self-examination and confession — with Shank and Wayne mixing straight-talking experience with plenty of humour.
You’ll hear them start by clearing up a common AA rumour about changing “rarely” to “never” in the Big Book, using a letter from Bill Wilson and a 1970 conference report to show it’s a myth.
From there, they go straight into the heart of Step 5, reading: “We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character…”, and talking about how honest confession can spark a spiritual shift, a sense that “we begin to feel the nearness of our creator”. A big focus here is fear around Steps 4 and 5.
Wayne admits many people are scared off by talk of “writing” and “being completely honest”, while Shank shares how she was initially excited to list everyone who’d wronged her — until she had to write her own mistakes. They both stress that if something comes back to you later and you weren’t deliberately hiding it, you can deal with it then, and it doesn’t automatically mean a relapse.
Shank’s story of doing her first serious inventory and confession while incarcerated, with mail being scanned and limited access to sponsors, shows that circumstances don’t have to block these steps. She describes how simple, focused work — rather than massive workbooks or hundred-page autobiographies — helped her “take a lot of the power away from things that happened to me”.
Throughout, they challenge overcomplicating Step 4 and knock down dramatic slogans like “defects are like accessories, I lose one and I find another”, preferring clear questions about selfishness, dishonesty, fear and harm. Their bottom line is simple: “If we’re honest about something, we do become free from it.” If you’ve been putting off Steps 4 and 5, could this be the nudge to just start writing and talking honestly?
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