SHAIR 80: "Pain Drives Change" with Damon Stoddard: All of us have pain, most of us waste it.SHAIR 80: "Pain Drives Change" with Damon Stoddard: All of us have pain, most of us waste it.
The SHAIR Recovery Podcast
Damon Stoddard shares how childhood trauma, domestic violence and bipolar disorder brought him to breaking point, and how faith, support and a clear vision helped him change. The conversation also touches on his daughter’s substance use and recovery, showing how pain can push families towards a different future.
1:16:21•23 Aug 2016
Pain Drives Change: Damon Stoddard on Turning Trauma into a New Life
Episode Overview
- Pain can act as a powerful driver for change when staying the same hurts more than doing the work.
- Honest confession to safe, trusted friends can release shame and open the door to real support.
- Addressing underlying mental health issues, such as bipolar disorder, may be crucial to stopping harmful behaviour.
- Rebuilding relationships with parents and seeking or offering forgiveness can ease long-held resentment and emotional pain.
- Stable routines, shared spiritual practices and consistent family rituals help break generational patterns of addiction and dysfunction.
“My pain was so great that the pain of staying the same was greater than the pain of change.”
What can we learn from those who have battled addiction? This conversation on The SHAIR Recovery Podcast follows Damon Stoddard as he talks candidly about domestic violence, childhood trauma, and finding a different way to live. It’s aimed at people in recovery, their families, and anyone dealing with the ripple effects of abuse and addiction.
Damon shares how a court-ordered domestic violence class did very little for him because, as he puts it, most people were there just to “do their time.” Real change began when a friend challenged his thinking and told him, “DV doesn’t stand for domestic violence anymore, Damon. It stands for dream and a vision.” From that point, Damon shifted from obsessing over his daily failures to building a future he actually wanted.
He talks openly about growing up with an alcoholic mother, time in foster care that included sexual abuse, and the aching absence of a father. One of the most moving moments comes when his dad finally says, “Will you forgive me?” and Damon describes it as the pressure valve being released on a lifetime of resentment. Faith, fellowship, and practical tools run through the episode.
Damon explains how a bipolar diagnosis and medication stopped his violent outbursts, why honest confession to trusted friends was crucial, and how daily routines, family rituals, and a clear vision pulled him out of the darkest years. He also shares his daughter Monica’s journey through drugs, treatment, relapse, and eventually three years clean and sober, showing how change can ripple forward into the next generation.
If you’re sitting with your own pain and wondering whether anything good can come from it, this story asks a simple question: are you going to waste that pain, or let it drive change?
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