Sober Talk SA - Father TomSober Talk SA - Father Tom
Sober Talk SA
Father Tom shares his experience as a Jesuit priest and alcoholic, describing the stages of alcoholism, the role of AA, and how hope and simple spiritual practice support daily sobriety. The talk blends humour, personal stories and practical advice aimed at people questioning their relationship with alcohol or seeking support in recovery.
48:21•15 Oct 2026
Father Tom on Being "Done" With Drinking and Finding Hope in AA
Episode Overview
- Alcoholism is described as a disease with clear stages: fun, fun plus problems, and eventually only problems.
- Drinking dreams in sobriety are framed as reminders of past drinking and as experiences that sober people have, not active drinkers.
- Honest communication in families about addiction is limited, but simple truths like "it was bad enough so that I never want to drink again" can set boundaries.
- Stories from other AA members highlight how seemingly "normal" drinking can slide into serious harm and how long-term recovery is possible.
- A practical view of Step Three is offered: show up, pay attention, tell the truth, and let go of the results, supported by simple breathing and daily spiritual practice.
“"Stage one is the fun phase… stage two is fun plus problems… stage three alcoholism is just called problems."”
What remarkable journeys have people faced head-on against addiction? This talk from Father Tom, recorded at a Spiritual Speakers Meeting in Adelaide, offers a mix of raw honesty, humour and long-term experience in Alcoholics Anonymous. Introduced by Dennis, an AA member and radio host, Father Tom shares how a life steeped in prayer, teaching and the Jesuit community still couldn’t protect him from alcoholism.
You’ll hear him joke about monastery bells ringing every 15 minutes "just to keep you awake", then shift into frank stories of how drinking became central to his life and eventually unbearable. A major thread in the episode is the idea of alcoholism as a progressive disease, explained through the three stages: "fun", "fun plus problems", and finally "just problems".
Father Tom reinforces this by telling vivid stories about his own drinking, including secretive behaviour and unsettling drinking dreams that reminded him, even sober, that "our drinking was a nightmare".
He also brings other voices into the room: the wisdom of an old French doctor describing alcoholism as a fatal disease, the sharp honesty of children calling out their parents’ drinking, and the long recovery of friends like Peggy, whose love of martinis slowly stripped down to "I didn’t need the olive... I didn’t need the vermouth...
I didn’t need the glass." These stories show different paths through the same illness, all pointing back to AA as a place where "they knew what to do". Spiritual practice runs through the whole talk, but in very practical terms.
Father Tom breaks Step Three into everyday actions: "show up, pay attention, tell the truth, and let go of the results." He links breath, meditation and conscious contact with a higher power to staying present and hopeful, especially on the hard days.
If you’re wondering whether you’re an "unhappy drinker", or you’re craving a mix of faith, reality and dark humour about alcoholism, this episode might be just the nudge you need to ask: is it time for you to be done?
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