Sober Talk SA - Father Tom at Kilburn SA

Sober Talk SA - Father Tom at Kilburn SA

What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? In this episode of Sober Talk SA, Father Tom, a Catholic priest from Oakland, California, shares a candid and often funny account of his long journey into, and out of, alcoholism. You’ll hear him talk about growing up in a family where drinking was never named directly—on one side they had “characters” instead of alcoholics, on the other “nervous” relatives who mysteriously needed hospital stays.

That early confusion set the stage for his own drinking, which he describes with stark honesty and a bit of dark humour: “Alcohol did something for me, and then alcohol did something to me.” Father Tom explains how alcohol became his primary relationship, replacing dating and intimacy, and compares alcoholism to “dancing with a gorilla” – you’re not done until the gorilla is done, and the key is to get out of the cage and stay out.

He also speaks as a member of Al-Anon, sharing how family and friends get hurt when they climb into the cage to fix the alcoholic and why “stay out of the cage” can literally save lives.

The episode is rich in AA and Al-Anon wisdom: going to “lots of meetings,” not using “no dope,” and learning that healthy people “can work, love, and play.” He describes his first AA meeting, the shock of people clapping because he hadn’t had a drink since Tuesday, and the relief of finally meeting people who understood what that meant.

You’ll also hear how sponsorship, the steps, and simple ideas like “act, don’t react” and “don’t get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired” helped him build decades of sobriety while remaining very human and very imperfect. If you’re curious about long-term recovery, priesthood and alcoholism, or the impact on families, this story might be exactly what you need today.