Sober-Talk -SA- Kiwi John

Sober-Talk -SA- Kiwi John

What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? John, known as Kiwi John, lays it all out with raw honesty as he talks about a lifetime of fear, rage, and repeated attempts to get sober through Alcoholics Anonymous. Hosted by Dennis from Sober Talk SA, this episode focuses squarely on John’s voice. He talks about growing up in a strict migrant family, violence at home, and the constant sense of being unsafe.

As he puts it, the book captures his drinking days better than he ever could: "pitiful and incomprehensible demoralisation." That phrase becomes a thread through his story. You’ll hear how early fantasy and bravado – wanting to be the Lone Ranger or Elliot Ness, hanging around tough, violent friends – masked deep fear and loneliness. John explains how he learned to shut down his feelings, saying things like, "Mum, you shouldn't be crying.

Get over it," because he’d taught himself that bad feelings had no place. Alcohol eventually took everything: home, family, work, and any sense of self-worth. Yet AA offered something he never expected – a place where it’s safe to say, "I don't know what I'm doing.

I just want to be sober and break down." He describes arriving in hospital in 1978, packed with hatred and rage, then slowly developing "a desire to go to meetings" and finding comfort in the bond between members.

John is open about relapses and the shame that comes with them, including the moment an AA friend spotted him in a supermarket and simply said, "John, please come back to Alcoholics Anonymous." That quiet act of kindness is exactly what he says he now wants to pass on.

If you’ve ever felt too angry, too broken or too ashamed to ask for help, John’s story might make you wonder: what could happen if you walked into a meeting and just told the truth?