Step 8 & 9: SEX and God… UNHOLY SOUL BONDS!Step 8 & 9: SEX and God… UNHOLY SOUL BONDS!
GOD TALK UNCENSORED
Zach and Monty talk candidly about sex, Steps 8 and 9, and "unholy soul bonds", linking 12-step practice with Christian teaching. The conversation focuses on taking a sex inventory, the impact of past sexual choices and the role of honesty and grace in recovery.
18:31•2 Sept 2026
Sex, Soul Bonds and Steps 8 & 9: Getting Honest with God
Episode Overview
- Sexual behaviour can cause deep harm to oneself, spouses and partners, especially when driven by addiction and selfish motives.
- A sex inventory asks direct questions about where someone has been selfish, dishonest, inconsiderate or hurtful in sexual relationships.
- Past sexual encounters may create soul ties or "unholy soul bonds" that carry into later relationships and marriages.
- Pornography and casual sex can damage intimacy, fuel unhealthy comparison and leave long-lasting mental images and guilt.
- Making amends around sexual issues should be approached carefully, often starting with honest confession to God and guidance from a sponsor.
“"There’s something about the uniting sexually of two people that creates a soul bond, a soul tie where they have a different relationship because of that."”
How do individuals turn their lives around after addiction? This conversation on GOD TALK UNCENSORED takes on one of the messiest and most avoided areas of recovery: sex, shame and what Zach calls "unholy soul bonds". Zach and co-host Monty break down Steps 8 and 9 from a Christian and 12-step perspective, focusing on the idea of a sex inventory from the Alcoholics Anonymous "big book".
They talk frankly about how culture is "really focused a lot on sex" and how addiction often lowers inhibitions, leading to choices that cause damage to spouses, partners and even the person themselves. As Zach puts it, "we have made a mess" of the drives God intended for good.
You'll hear them pose tough self-reflection questions: "Where were you selfish?" "Where were you dishonest?" "Who did you hurt by your escapades?" They stress that this kind of inventory is heavy and should be approached carefully, often starting with honesty before God rather than rushing out to make amends that could cause more harm.
The episode digs into pornography, "friends with benefits", affairs and casual sex, and how these experiences can form "soul ties" that follow people into later relationships and marriages. Monty notes how hearing a pastor talk about "unholy soul bonds" can sound strange at first, yet many who’ve had multiple relationships recognise how past sexual encounters affect their current marriage.
Zach shares his own experience of apologising to his ex-wife for selfish behaviour and pornography, careful to do it wisely and with support. Throughout, the focus stays on God's design for sex, the reality of human failure, and the hope of bringing this area under the same grace as the rest of recovery.
If you're ready to ask hard questions about sex, faith and recovery, this honest chat might be a helpful place to start—what would your own inventory in this area look like?
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