The Mess of BPD (Feat. Tami Ward)
The Mess of BPD (Feat. Tami Ward)

Bold Beautiful Borderline

Therapist Tami Ward shares her candid story of living with BPD, alcohol misuse, childhood trauma, and parenting two mentally ill children, while maintaining a decades-long marriage. She talks about medication, DBT skills, and how the traits that once fuelled chaos can also become a kind of superpower.

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1:02:15•7 Jun 2026

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From Chaos to Superpower: Tami Ward on BPD, Alcohol, and Staying Married

Episode Overview

BPD can coexist with other diagnoses and may be mislabelled due to stigma, which can affect how people are treated and understood.
Long-term trauma and parentification in childhood can fuel intense rage, shame, and emotional dysregulation well into adulthood.
Romantic partners or family members can act as grounding supports, but communication and clear boundaries remain essential.
DBT tools such as pausing before reacting, opposite action, and TIP skills can reduce the intensity and fallout of BPD episodes.
Traits linked to BPD, like intensity and drive, can be channelled into creativity, career success, and caring deeply for others.

“My thing is always pause before pouncing.”

What remarkable journeys have people faced head-on against addiction and mental illness? This conversation between host Sara and guest Tami Ward shines a bright light on the messy, complicated, and often surprisingly funny reality of living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) while also tackling alcohol misuse and family trauma.

Tami, a therapist and Reiki provider from Rhode Island, traces a lifetime of “big feelings” that were initially labelled Bipolar II before a psychiatrist finally said, “oh yeah, you definitely have BPD” – then kept the bipolar diagnosis because of the stigma. She talks openly about surviving ten years of childhood sexual abuse, growing up in a violent home, and stepping into a parental role at just nine years old.

Those experiences fed into years of rage, risk-taking, screaming matches with neighbours, and even smashing car windows, all while raising two children who later developed their own mental health conditions. You’ll hear how a stable, fiercely loyal marriage became her anchor, even when she was “drunk and sober, drunk and sober” and drinking up to two bottles of wine a day, eventually going to detox, rehab, and getting a DUI.

Tami doesn’t sugar-coat the damage, but she also refuses to erase the strengths BPD gave her: she calls it a “superpower” that helped her become the friend everyone leaned on, dig a koi pond by hand, smash direct sales, and write three books in four months. Now in her 50s, on medication and in therapy, she shares how DBT skills and a simple mantra – “pause before pouncing” – help her and her clients step back from the edge.

This is a candid, sweary, deeply human chat for anyone juggling BPD, sobriety, parenting, or just trying to work out if their chaos can ever feel useful. It might leave you wondering: what parts of your own “mess” could one day become your magic?

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