The Power of Substitution in Recovery: Gary’s Experiment Part 2

The Power of Substitution in Recovery: Gary’s Experiment Part 2

Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This chat on The 12th Step Podcast follows Gary, Mike and Daniel as they unpack what it really means to give something up in recovery and swap it for something better. Gary shares a very down‑to‑earth experiment that starts with Lent and ends at a kitchen table full of kids, grandkids and painted monsters.

He talks about clearing out years’ worth of sci‑fi models and “retail therapy” purchases from his crawl space, and how each box came with memories of perfectionism and emotional distance from his children. Instead of silently hoarding it or binning it, he lays it all out and tells his sons: use it, sell it, or it goes – but it can’t just sit there anymore. The heart of the episode is the shift from protecting stuff to protecting relationships.

Gary describes handing over a treasured model to his seven‑year‑old grandson, who paints it in true seven‑year‑old fashion. “Did I get my perfectly painted beautiful model that nobody could touch? No. But did I get the experience that I wanted when I first bought those things? Yeah.” That change in perspective becomes a living example of sacrifice in recovery: trading control and perfectionism for connection and joy.

The trio link this idea back to the 12‑Step process, Lent, and the three‑circle model, talking about moving from bad to good, good to better, and better to best. They also touch on swapping fast, shallow entertainment for longer, shared experiences – films, lectures and media that spark conversations with family rather than just filling time.

If you’ve ever clung to a habit, hobby or "thing" because of what it represents, this episode may nudge you to ask: what could happen if you let it go and made room for something better?