The Problem With Being Good at Gutting It Out

The Problem With Being Good at Gutting It Out

Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This chat between Matt J and Steve C digs into a habit many people in recovery recognise: being "good at gutting it out" and pushing through pain long after it stops being sensible. Matt shares in detail about tapering off venlafaxine (Effexor) after nearly a decade, hitting a serious wall at the lowest dose and deciding to go back up slightly.

Even though this choice clearly eased "very, very dark" thoughts, he still caught himself thinking, "Why can't I just gut through this?" and feeling like a failure for changing the plan. That tension between self‑care and stubborn pride runs right through the episode. Steve relates with his own stories, from ignoring a nasty gastrointestinal bug to delaying medication for cholesterol, all because he tends to let his body "fix its own stuff" and has a high tolerance for feeling rough.

He admits this mindset grew out of years of drinking, being able to feel awful, power through a hangover, and still pick up a drink the next day. You’ll hear them link this pattern directly to addiction: a high pain tolerance can keep someone stuck in drinking or drug use far longer, because they can endure more misery before asking for help.

As Matt puts it, "Sometimes having a low pain threshold and being able to say 'I'm tapping out here' is the right thing to do." They also talk about willpower, why it doesn’t fix alcoholism, and how recovery often means learning to pause, ask for support, listen to medical professionals, and decide that your wellbeing matters more than proving how tough you are.

Matt sums up his current approach by saying he’s "trying to stop treating suffering as proof that I'm doing the work correctly". If you’ve ever stayed in a painful situation just to prove you can handle it, this conversation might prompt you to ask: is it time to tap out and choose something kinder?