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ADHD Focus
ADHD affects relationships, more often in a negative way over time. Actually, that may be the primary negative impact of... The post...
52:50β’6 Oct 2026
ADHD, Love and Frayed Nerves: Making Relationships Work
Episode Overview
- ADHD often damages relationships through emotional dysregulation, executive dysfunction and poor communication, especially when it goes unrecognised.
- Cognitive behavioural therapy focused on ADHD and relationships uses the thoughtβfeelingβbehaviour model to change unhelpful responses and rebuild connection.
- Partners benefit from accepting ADHD as a long-term factor and working together on timing, feedback and communication styles rather than blaming character.
- Simple tools like timers, planning and early communication about being late can prevent everyday mishaps from turning into major conflicts.
- Combining ADHD medication with CBT and skills training tends to be more effective than relying on either approach on its own.
βWe can't have a feeling without having a thought first.β
Ever wondered what it takes to keep a relationship steady when ADHD is in the mix? This conversation on ADHD Focus digs into exactly that, with a clear focus on how ADHD can strain β and potentially strengthen β romantic partnerships. Dr David Pomeroy teams up with marriage and family therapist Phil Boissier, who has worked with ADHD and relationships for nearly two decades.
Together they break down why ADHD so often causes friction at home, especially through emotional dysregulation, executive dysfunction and communication breakdowns. As Phil puts it, "We can't have a feeling without having a thought first," and that simple idea sits at the heart of his cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) approach. Youβll hear how tiny, everyday moments β running late, forgetting an appointment, shoes left by the front door β can snowball into resentment when ADHD is involved and untreated.
Phil explains how partners often mislabel ADHD-related behaviours as selfishness or narcissism, which then damages trust and closeness. He stresses the importance of acceptance on both sides: ADHD is present, itβs not magically disappearing, so the question becomes "What do we do about it?" The episode lays out practical strategies for couples: using timers and planning tools, agreeing on better times of day for difficult conversations, and learning to pause between stimulus and reaction so impulsive responses donβt take over.
Medication is discussed as "glasses" for the ADHD brain, helping CBT and skills work land more effectively rather than expecting pills to fix everything on their own. The tone stays hopeful throughout. Dr Pomeroy emphasises that emotional swings, memory blips and missed cues donβt have to mean the end of a relationship; with informed help and joint effort, couples can rebuild connection.
If ADHD is touching your love life β whether youβve had years of friction or youβre just starting to spot the pattern β could this be the conversation you need to hear next?
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