The Sponsor Problem

The Sponsor Problem

How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? Alcoholics Alive! takes that question head-on by asking what sponsorship in Alcoholics Anonymous is actually meant to be – and what happens when it goes off the rails.

Shank and Wayne kick things off with a powerful line from the Big Book: “We have recovered and have been given the power to help others.” From there, they talk honestly about moving from “recovering” to “recovered”, and how that shift in language shapes responsibility to help other alcoholics. The main chat circles around what they call “the sponsor problem”.

They look at the difference between a sponsor who guides someone through the 12 steps and points them back to God and the AA book, versus a sponsor who starts acting like a therapist, life manager, or even a fashion critic. One host admits to screaming at someone they sponsored out of frustration, using that story to show how easy it is to overstep and turn sponsorship into control rather than spiritual support.

You’ll hear them poke fun at AA culture too – phrases like “I have a sponsor who has a sponsor who has a sponsor”, “grand sponsors”, “litter mates”, and networks of 75 phone numbers all come under gentle fire. They argue that dependence on a person, a lineage, or a status-y “rock star sponsor” can distract from the real point: relying on God and the AA programme, and being willing to help the next alcoholic.

As Wayne puts it, “Sponsorship is simple, but it is also sacred and very important,” and they keep coming back to that balance: one sponsor, clear guidance from the book, simple service, and a relationship based on respect rather than hero worship. If you’ve ever wondered what a healthy sponsor relationship might look like, this conversation gives plenty to chew on. So, how’s your own idea of sponsorship measuring up against what they describe here?