The Flying Monkeys of Narcissism: Are You One?

The Flying Monkeys of Narcissism: Are You One?

Secret Life

Brianne Davis-Gantt discusses 'flying monkeys' in narcissistic relationships, explaining their roles and how to manage them effectively.

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15:319 Feb 2026

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Are You a Flying Monkey for a Narcissist?

Episode Overview

  • Flying monkeys are individuals manipulated by narcissists to cause emotional distress.
  • They often act out of fear, loyalty, or love for drama.
  • Key tactics include trivialising victims' feelings and spreading misinformation.
  • Setting firm boundaries and using the grey rock technique can be effective.
  • Support systems are crucial for those dealing with narcissistic abuse.
"They feel special, chosen, exclusive and righteous that the narcissist gave them this important task."

What drives someone to be a 'flying monkey' for a narcissist? In this episode of Secret Life, Brianne Davis-Gantt unpacks the fascinating dynamics of these individuals, who unknowingly act as enablers in narcissistic relationships. Borrowing from the classic film 'The Wizard of Oz,' Brianne describes how these 'flying monkeys'—often close friends or family—become instruments of manipulation, spreading chaos and confusion at the narcissist's behest.

With a mix of personal stories and broader observations, she delves into why people take on this role, whether out of fear, a misguided sense of loyalty, or simply the allure of drama. You'll learn about the common tactics these 'monkeys' use, like trivialising the victim's feelings or siding with the narcissist despite clear evidence.

Brianne doesn't just leave it there; she offers practical advice on how to identify and deal with these individuals, from setting boundaries to employing the 'grey rock' technique. This episode is a must-listen for anyone dealing with narcissistic dynamics or those curious about the complexities of human relationships. Are you ready to spot the flying monkeys in your life?

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