Topic: The Delirious ActorTopic: The Delirious Actor
Sober Cast: An (unofficial) Alcoholics Anonymous Podcast AA
Jen C shares a candid AA talk about her journey from secret drinking and family damage to a life grounded in the Twelve Steps, sponsorship and daily spiritual practice. Her story highlights how emotional growth and honest inventory continue long after the last drink.
47:41•12 Apr 2026
The Delirious Actor: Jen C on Secret Drinking, God Boxes and a Prayer Chair
Episode Overview
- Alcohol began as “liquid courage” for social fear and gradually became a secret, progressive addiction that touched every part of Jen’s life.
- AA meetings offered safety and identification as people openly shared the very things she was hiding, helping to reduce shame.
- Working the steps with a sponsor, especially the fourth and fifth steps, gave Jen a new perspective on resentments and opened the door to grace and forgiveness.
- Daily practices like a dedicated “prayer chair”, journalling, and short, consistent meditation became foundations for ongoing emotional stability.
- Even with years sober, Jen’s illness shows up in attitudes and behaviour rather than drinking, so continued inventory, amends, and reliance on a higher power remain essential.
“My children's memories are my blackouts. I'll never know what my alcoholism did to my kids.”
What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? Jen C from Brentwood, Tennessee, proves it’s often the mix of brutal honesty, humour, and spiritual growth. Speaking at the March 2022 Magical Mystery Tour Zoom Speaker Meeting, she shares her journey from a terrified 14‑year‑old chugging wine in a school car park to a woman with years of sobriety and a deep AA practice.
Jen talks candidly about using alcohol as “liquid courage” and a way to stop “the squirrels running in my head”, describing decades of secret drinking, hiding wine, manipulating money for booze, and the heartbreaking impact on her children and marriage.
One of the most striking moments comes when she recalls learning that her eight‑year‑old used to ask, “Is it good mum tonight or bad mum tonight?” Her turning point begins with being caught drunk and sexting, followed by a visit to a psychiatrist who, with 25 years’ sobriety, sends her straight to AA.
From there, you’ll hear how she throws herself into meetings, finds safety in hearing others talk openly about “all my ugly”, and begins working the steps with a tough, big‑book‑focused sponsor. Jen walks through each step in real, practical terms: God boxes made from shoeboxes, 19‑word resentment limits, index‑card amends lists, and the infamous “prayer chair” that grows into a full-blown morning routine of prayer, journalling, and meditation.
She’s clear that her biggest problems today are still her own thinking and reactions, describing how sobriety now means spotting when she’s behaving “like a two‑year‑old” rather than reaching for a drink. This talk is ideal if you’re new to AA, feeling stuck in the steps, or wondering how people actually live this programme day to day. Jen’s mix of humour, raw admissions, and step-by-step examples might have you asking where your own “prayer chair” could go.
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