Trying other ways to stay sober

Trying other ways to stay sober

What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? In this episode of LOL Sober, Nelson H. pulls back the curtain on his own experiments with “trying other ways to stay sober” and why, for him, 12-step programmes remain the backbone of his recovery.

Speaking in his usual straight-talking, slightly cheeky style, Nelson explains the temptation many people feel: “you get sober, you learn a bunch of tools to stay sober, and then you bounce.” He admits he’s tried it himself, stepping away from meetings to see if he could manage sobriety on his own terms. Spoiler: it didn’t go great. The heart of the episode sits around one key idea: connection.

Nelson shares how, during the pandemic, he leaned hard on speaker tapes from sober speakers online. For a brief moment, it felt like a “cheat code” – skipping meetings while still getting his daily shot of recovery talk.

But as he puts it, “that wore out pretty quick” because those recordings “don’t do the main thing that I need in sobriety, which is connection.” He also talks about people he’s known who’ve stepped away from 12-step programmes, stayed off alcohol, but ended up what he calls “more dry than sober,” behaving “the same way a junkie would, just without the drugs and alcohol.” He’s clear he doesn’t judge anyone for choosing different paths, saying, “Go for it.

I hope it works.” Yet he’s equally clear that structured, connected recovery is “definitely better for this alcoholic.” This episode suits anyone curious about whether meetings are really necessary, those flirting with leaving a programme, or anyone who’s ever thought, “Do I actually need this stuff any more?” It might just make you ask yourself: are you sober, or just dry?