Using CRAFT, Getting Results, Still Questioning: Coaching EpisodeUsing CRAFT, Getting Results, Still Questioning: Coaching Episode
Hopestream for parenting kids through drug use and addiction
Brenda coaches Marie, a school psychologist and mum to a 19-year-old with ADHD and substance use, as she reflects on years of intensive interventions that did not bring a quick fix. Their conversation focuses on CRAFT skills, natural consequences, holding boundaries and how Marie is finding unexpected calm and purpose while her son slowly experiments with change.
1:01:04•26 Mar 2026
Using CRAFT, Letting Go and Still Caring: Marie’s Story of Parenting Through Addiction
Episode Overview
- Throwing every possible intervention at a young person does not guarantee immediate recovery, and relapse can still happen after extensive treatment.
- Using CRAFT skills and motivational interviewing can gradually shift communication from conflict and lecturing to honest, two-way conversations.
- Creating physical distance and allowing natural consequences can reduce chaos at home while actually improving connection with a young adult child.
- Parents can hold firm boundaries about living at home and still offer support in other ways, such as practical help and emotional presence.
- Focusing on personal wellbeing, community support and a sense of purpose helps parents stay steady, even when their child continues to use substances.
“"There is no rock bottom for a 17-year-old. They don’t have the prefrontal cortex and the executive functioning skills to make good decisions."”
What emotional and inspiring tales of recovery are out there? This coaching-style episode of Hopestream sits in the messy middle of one family's story, rather than polishing it up with a neat ending. Brenda Zane talks with Marie, a school psychologist and mum to a 19-year-old son whose substance use began after an early ADHD diagnosis and years of anxiety, low frustration tolerance and oppositional behaviour.
Marie lays out an almost exhausting list of everything she and her husband have tried: ADHD support plans at school, early counselling, parent training, CRAFT mentoring, drug and alcohol specialists, at‑risk youth court petitions, residential treatment, partial hospitalisation, intensive outpatient programmes, a therapeutic boarding school, sober living, and a tightly planned transition home. None of it produced the instant turnaround she hoped for.
Her son relapsed repeatedly, became aggressive at home and eventually moved out to live first with a girlfriend and then a friend’s family, where substance use is allowed. Yet this is where something unexpected happens: with space between them and strict CRAFT skills in play, he starts talking honestly. He shares how awful hangovers feel, worries about his cannabis tolerance and even asks curious questions about a sobriety app, while holding down a fast-food job that quietly builds his confidence.
For parents listening, the heart of the episode is Marie’s shift from frantic fixing to “active waiting” and natural consequences. She describes letting go of control without giving up on her son, holding a firm boundary about him not living at home, and still showing up with lifts, groceries and genuine interest. Brenda helps her think through future housing boundaries, collaborative problem-solving and how Marie might use her professional experience to support other parents.
If you’re exhausted from trying everything and still questioning, this conversation might help you ask a different question: how can you be okay, even while your child isn’t yet?
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