Waiting Mode, Anxiety, and Intolerance of Uncertainty (Audio Essay)Waiting Mode, Anxiety, and Intolerance of Uncertainty (Audio Essay)
Eggshell Transformations with Imi Lo
Imi Lo reflects on "waiting mode", the paralysing state of feeling unable to live fully until a future event is resolved, and links it to anxiety, perfectionism and trauma. She offers a gentle perspective on building tolerance for uncertainty and finding a more internal sense of safety.
13:15•15 Jul 2026
Living on Shaky Ground: Waiting Mode, Anxiety and Uncertainty
Episode Overview
- Waiting mode is described as life feeling suspended until a future, uncertain event is resolved.
- The pattern appears in ADHD, anxiety, perfectionism and among emotionally intense, highly conscientious people.
- Early experiences of chaos, parentification or bullying can teach a person that safety depends on control and constant self-optimisation.
- Perfectionism is framed as a deep yearning for wholeness and safety rather than a quest to be flawless.
- Easing waiting mode involves slowly expanding what you can tolerate, accepting that things can go wrong and still be survivable, and shifting your sense of safety inward.
“You don’t need the world to be settled before you’re allowed to live your life.”
How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober when their brain feels stuck on one future event? This audio essay from Eggshell Transformations zooms in on "waiting mode" – that eerie sense that life is on pause until something uncertain finally happens. Rather than offering productivity hacks or time-management tricks, the host, Imi Lo, talks about waiting mode as a full-body, nervous-system experience.
She describes it as the feeling that "life is in suspension" because an appointment, exam result, medical scan, message reply or difficult conversation is looming, and your mind simply won’t switch off from it. Even if you know rationally there’s nothing more to do, emotionally everything feels hijacked. Imi traces how this pattern shows up not just in ADHD, but also in anxiety, perfectionism, and for people who are intense, conscientious and highly sensitive.
She links the freeze to early experiences of chaos, parentification, bullying and conditional safety, where a child learns that the world only feels safe when everything is under control. Perfectionism, she says, isn’t about being perfect, but a "deep, often unconscious yearning for wholeness" so you can finally rest. The essay gently challenges the belief that a bad outcome would be un-survivable.
Instead of promising quick fixes, Imi talks about gradually expanding what you can stand: letting things be imperfect, practising living on "shaky ground", and relocating your sense of safety from external events and other people’s responses to something steadier inside yourself. If you’ve ever felt unable to enjoy your day because you’re waiting for a diagnosis, a difficult phone call, or someone’s reply, this piece offers language for that experience and a different way of looking at it.
Could easing the grip of waiting mode be one step towards feeling safer and more present in your sober life?
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