We Found That All-Around Forgiveness Was Best

We Found That All-Around Forgiveness Was Best

What drives someone to seek a life that’s truly free from resentment? This RAW Recovery Podcast episode centres on Step Eight and the messy, brave work of forgiveness, with host Dion walking through his own experience in a very down-to-earth way. The chat is informal and slightly chaotic in the best sense – dogs barking, garage sale grumbles, and bad coffee jokes – yet underneath the humour is a serious focus on how forgiveness connects directly to staying sober.

Dion reads from Hazelden literature and the Twelve and Twelve, then adds his lived experience to show how stubbornness, defiance, and bargaining with a higher power can keep people stuck. As he puts it, “We found that all around forgiveness was best because resentment kept us trapped in the past, while forgiveness gave us enough freedom to face our part.” You’ll hear him stress that Step Eight is about willingness and relationships, not about demanding apologies from others.

He’s clear that an amends loaded with blame won’t work: “Without forgiveness, an amends will sound like, ‘I’m sorry, but you…’” That little word “but”, he explains, cancels out everything that came before it. The episode speaks especially to people in 12-step recovery who are grappling with amends, but it’s equally relevant if you’re stuck in old anger and isolation.

Dion talks honestly about adding himself to his own resentment list, learning to forgive himself, and refusing to send people back into harmful situations just to tick a Step Nine box. There’s practical guidance on choosing where to start, keeping to your side of the street, and treating forgiveness as something you practise more than once.

If you’re facing Step Eight, or simply tired of carrying around old hurt, this straight-talking conversation might help you ask a different question: what would your recovery look like if you really did choose “all-around forgiveness”?