Willing to Be Willing pt.2Willing to Be Willing pt.2
Father Bill W.
Father Bill W. reflects on Thomas R. Kelly’s idea of holy obedience and links it to 12-step principles, especially willingness, humility and suffering. The conversation connects steps 3, 6, 7 and 11 with a deeper spiritual practice aimed at freedom rather than merely being "normal."
22:44•2 Jul 2026
Willing to Be Willing: Holy Obedience, Suffering and Real Freedom in Recovery
Episode Overview
- Willingness is the right use of will in recovery, shifting from ego control to letting a Power greater than oneself lead.
- Humility is framed as teachability, making space for God-control instead of bombarding problems with willpower.
- Steps 6 and 7 point toward aiming at perfection as an ideal while accepting human progress as the realistic path.
- Suffering is presented as unavoidable but potentially heart-enlarging when used to ask, "What is being asked of me now?"
- Simple daily practices, like Dr Bob’s short prayer, brief reading and quiet listening, can anchor a life of ongoing obedience.
“"If your goal is to become like a normal American, forget it. You might stay sober. But you're never going to be happy and you're never going to be free."”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation with Father Bill W. leans right into that question by unpacking what he calls "holy obedience" – or, more comfortably for many in recovery, wholeness and willingness. Aimed at people in 12-step fellowships who want to go deeper than just staying dry, the episode takes Thomas R. Kelly’s Quaker talk *Holy Obedience* and translates it into clear 12-step language.
You’ll hear how steps 3 and 11 set the stage, but the real crunch lands in steps 6 and 7: are you actually willing to let go of your favourite defects, or just aiming for “normal”? As Father Bill’s old sponsor Floyd put it, "If your goal is to become like a normal American, forget it. You might stay sober.
But you're never going to be happy and you're never going to be free." Humility is presented as teachability rather than self-loathing – the shift from bombarding problems with willpower to offering willingness and letting a Higher Power do the heavy lifting.
Father Bill draws on AA’s Big Book and the 12 and 12 to show how the steps act as “perfect ideals” rather than perfection tests, with the key question being, "Are we ready?" The episode also spends time on suffering: from Job’s “Though you slay me, yet will I put my trust in you” to Kelly’s post–World War II reflections. Pain isn’t painted as optional, but as something that can "stretch and enlarge our hearts" if we let it.
The focus shifts from “Why is this happening?” to “What’s being asked of me now?” Things wrap up with Dr Bob’s simple daily practice of prayer, short scripture reading and quiet listening for direction – a practical picture of obedience lived one day at a time. If you’ve ever wondered whether there’s more freedom and depth available in your recovery, this conversation might nudge you to ask what you’re really willing to be willing for.
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