You are not your Shame

You are not your Shame

What are the common struggles and victories in addiction recovery? This conversation on Fight Like David shines a light on a battle that’s rarely talked about openly: girls and women struggling with pornography, and the crushing shame that often comes with it. Host Brock Bevell and co-host Cowbell Rob sit down with Maddie Davis, a junior at BYU and founder of Sisters on the Front Lines, who first encountered pornography at 13.

What began as innocent curiosity turned into a secret habit, fuelled by messages like, “We know you girls don’t struggle with this,” and the belief that she was “the exception to the Atonement.” Maddie shares how years of silence finally broke when she walked into her bishop’s office, terrified he’d say, “Really?

Maddie, you struggle with this?” Instead, his first words were, “You’re still a daughter of God and you’re still just as loved and you’re still just as valued.” That moment, she explains, started to restore her sense of identity, even though slip-ups still followed. You’ll hear Maddie unpack the difference between guilt and shame, quoting Brené Brown’s line: “Guilt says, I made a mistake.

Shame says, I am a mistake.” She talks about treating slip-ups as “data points” rather than proof of failure, using tools like mindfulness, journalling, and what she calls “urge surfing.” The episode also tackles the myth that pornography is a “boys’ problem”, the specific ways women often engage with it, and why connection—with God and with trusted people—is essential.

A powerful highlight is a raw text Maddie reads from her dad to her brother, repeating the phrase, “There is no peace. There is only war,” as a call to stay in the fight together. Anyone feeling trapped by hidden habits or spiritual shame will find honest comfort, practical ideas, and a clear message: your struggle is real, but it isn’t your identity. What if the next step is simply telling one safe person the truth?