108: The Healthy Debate Show with Dr. Belynder Walia & guest Vanessa Malik108: The Healthy Debate Show with Dr. Belynder Walia & guest Vanessa Malik
UK Health Radio Podcast
Counsellor Vanessa Malik talks with Dr. Belynder Walia about self-awareness, ADHD, neurodivergence and emotional resilience, sharing her own story of grief and growth. They discuss harmful labels, masking, practical regulation tools and how different brains can carry unique strengths.
38:36•12 Jun 2026
ADHD, Neurodivergence and Self-Awareness: Turning “Too Much” Into a Superpower
Episode Overview
- Self-awareness helps people with ADHD and other neurodivergent traits understand their triggers, emotions and patterns instead of judging themselves.
- Labels such as lazy, naughty or difficult can fuel shame, anxiety and burnout; reframing them can move someone towards self-compassion.
- The Johari window offers a simple structure for looking at what you and others know about you, what you hide and the potential you’ve yet to uncover.
- Tools like emotion wheels, grounding exercises, kinder self-talk and journaling can support emotional regulation without self-criticism.
- Neurodivergent traits such as hyperfocus, creativity and passion can be powerful strengths when recognised, supported and valued.
“"Your strengths, or your superpower as I like to call it, come from your different ways of thinking and feeling and processing information."”
What emotional and inspiring tales of recovery are out there? This conversation on The Healthy Debate Show shines a light on how self-awareness can change life for people living with ADHD and other forms of neurodivergence. Host Dr. Belynder Walia chats with integrative counsellor Vanessa Malik, who combines professional training with very personal experience of grief, panic attacks and people-pleasing.
Vanessa shares how counselling helped her stop bottling everything up and start asking, "Why do I do what I do?" That shift in awareness eventually led her into counselling so she could support others on the same journey. The pair talk frankly about the emotional side of ADHD: hyperfixation that takes over your thoughts, the swing from high motivation to feeling defeated, and the exhaustion of years spent masking rather than asking for help.
Labels like "lazy", "naughty" or "too much" come under scrutiny, as Vanessa explains how they feed shame, anxiety, burnout and low self-worth. You’ll hear about the Johari window as a simple framework to understand how you see yourself, how others see you, what you hide, and the potential you haven’t met yet.
Vanessa also shares very practical tools she uses with clients, students and at home: emotion wheels to name feelings, linking emotions to body sensations, gentle grounding and breathing exercises, kinder self-talk, and journaling prompts that ask "What triggered me?" and "What could I do differently next time?" Throughout, neurodivergent traits are reframed as strengths.
As Vanessa puts it, your "superpower" can lie in different ways of thinking, feeling and processing information, especially when you understand yourself well enough to work with your mind rather than against it. If you're curious about ADHD, supporting a neurodivergent loved one, or trying to feel less "wrong" and more understood, this conversation may give you a fresh way of looking at yourself and others. What strengths might be hiding underneath your own labels?
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