#115 Enough is Enough#115 Enough is Enough
The Gathering With Roger B.
Roger B and the Gathering community talk about what it means to say “enough is enough”, contrasting self-reliance and external validation with a spiritual approach to recovery. The conversation focuses on fear, shame, expectations and the choice between changing attitudes, changing situations, or continuing to suffer.
57:00•16 Jul 2026
Enough Is Enough: When Self-Reliance Stops Working
Episode Overview
- Chasing external goals and approval often leads to temporary satisfaction followed by deeper emptiness and hunger for more.
- Silence or lack of response in relationships is still a clear answer, and repeatedly ignoring it leads to ongoing suffering.
- In difficult situations, the practical choices are to change one’s attitude, change the situation, or keep suffering.
- Expectations, perfectionism and scarcity thinking are closely tied to shame and keep people stuck in dissatisfaction.
- Shifting towards a spiritual outlook and honest self-examination helps move from disorder into a reordered, more peaceful life.
“I have three options. One, I can change my attitude. Two, I can change the situation. Or the third option is I continue to suffer.”
What drives someone to seek a life where “enough” finally feels like enough? This Gathering session with Roger B circles around that exact question, tying everyday frustrations to deeper spiritual lessons that speak directly to those in recovery. Roger contrasts the “man’s world” of status, possessions and altered states with a more spiritual way of living.
He jokes about Chinese food satisfaction that fades in 20 minutes, using it to show how chasing external approval leaves people “living in a state of quiet desperation, frustration, fear, lack.” For anyone who’s tried to fix their life with more stuff, more effort or more self-reliance, this will feel uncomfortably familiar. A central theme is honesty in relationships.
Many in the group admit to hiding their true feelings just to “keep the peace”, only to end up resentful and anxious. Roger points out that silence from others is still an answer: “The silence is the no.” From there, he offers a simple but challenging framework: “I have three options.
One, I can change my attitude… Two, I can change the situation… Or the third option is I continue to suffer.” The conversation ranges across perfectionism, shame, scarcity thinking and the myth of control. Tom shares about ego and success, Doug and Paul talk about people-pleasing and transactional friendships, Kirsten laughs at how quickly expectations can explode over a vet visit, and Bill describes experimenting with a weekly sabbath as a way to loosen time anxiety.
This episode suits anyone in recovery who’s tired of feeling like they’re never enough, never have enough, or never do enough. It blends gentle humour, spiritual principles and very human stories to ask a blunt question: when do you finally decide that enough really is enough?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.