208 - Handling different personalities PART 2208 - Handling different personalities PART 2
Real Recovery Talk
Tom Conrad and Benjamin B talk about how certain personality traits can help or harm recovery, from poor follow-through and extremes to anger and entitlement. They stress realistic goals, personal responsibility and staying teachable as key parts of long-term sobriety.
34:14•7 Aug 2022
Handling Tricky Personalities in Recovery: Follow‑Through, Extremes and Staying Teachable
Episode Overview
- Good intentions and first impressions in treatment mean little without consistent follow-through in daily behaviour.
- Setting smart, realistic goals is more effective than promising huge changes that life circumstances can’t support.
- Laziness often hides behind excuses, and small actions – like a half-effort workout – can shift mood and mindset.
- Addictive personalities tend to take even positive habits to extremes, so balance and regular re-evaluation are essential.
- Staying teachable and dropping the "Yeah, I know" attitude keeps recovery growing instead of stuck in ego.
“"We're not responsible for our addiction and having this disease, but we are responsible for our recovery."”
How do different personalities impact life in recovery? Real Recovery Talk brings it right down to earth as host Tom Conrad and co-host Benjamin B keep things honest, funny, and very real while talking about the character traits that can make or break sobriety. Building on their previous chat about "king baby" traits, they break down people who make a great first impression but never follow through.
Tom talks about clients who look amazing in a one-hour therapy session, then act completely different for the other 167 hours of the week. He links this to unrealistic goals, sharing how smart goals and honest expectations matter more than big talk. Ben brings a powerful example from his CrossFit-style group, where a client who felt "tired and depressed" agreed to give 50% effort and walked back in energised and smiling.
As Ben puts it, "We're not responsible for our addiction and having this disease, but we are responsible for our recovery." They also look at how addictive personalities can take anything to extremes – the gym, shopping, meetings, even recovery work itself. You’ll hear why trying to quit everything at once (drugs, nicotine, caffeine, carbs, the lot) usually ends in burnout, and why constant re-evaluation beats rigid schedules.
Another big theme is frustration, entitlement and nitpicking – from complaints about gym equipment in treatment to "quiet quitting" at work. Tom and Ben link this to anger, unrealistic expectations, and the tendency to want more without giving more. They finish with a strong message about staying teachable. Tom admits one of his biggest pet hates is the phrase "Yeah, I know" from someone asking for advice.
Ben backs it up with his own experience of still learning new things from the same recovery book after nearly 12 years sober. If you or someone you care about is in treatment or early recovery, this conversation offers plenty to think about: are you bringing your A-game, or just playing a part?
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