455 Humility Is Not Humiliation: Working Step 7 with Sonia Kahlon455 Humility Is Not Humiliation: Working Step 7 with Sonia Kahlon
The One Day At A Time Recovery Podcast
Host Arlina Allen and Dr Sonia Kahlon talk through Step 7, focusing on humility as being “right-sized” rather than humiliated, and how peace can signal the right path. Their chat mixes recovery tools, real-life relationship examples and gentle humour to make spiritual concepts feel practical and relatable.
41:18•5 Nov 2026
Humility Without Shame: Sonia Kahlon Works Step 7
Episode Overview
- Humility is about being “right-sized” – neither superior nor worthless – rather than about shame or humiliation.
- A helpful way to sense God’s will is noticing whether there is genuine peace on the other side of a hard decision.
- Ending relationships that consistently hurt you can be an act of self-respect, especially when you’d never allow a child to be treated the same way.
- Self-doubt and humility can sit close together; questioning yourself doesn’t always mean weakness, it can open the door to growth.
- Step 8 becomes less frightening when seen as “just a list”, especially when created with guidance on who truly needs amends.
“Humility brings strength out of weakness.”
Curious about how others manage their sobriety journey? This conversation between host Arlina Allen and Dr Sonia Kahlon offers a grounded, often funny look at Step 7 of the 12 Steps, with a special focus on why humility is nothing like humiliation. Instead of painting humility as grovelling or small, Sonia and Arlina talk about it as being “right-sized” – not too grand, not too worthless.
As Arlina says, Step 7 “is really about being right sized… you don’t get too high, you don’t get too low,” a sweet spot many people in recovery will recognise. Sonia admits she initially thought Step 7 was just repeating earlier work, but found it was “exactly what I needed,” especially while dealing with tricky family relationships.
You’ll hear them unpack the difference between humility and humiliation, with the AA literature line “humility brings strength out of weakness” becoming one of Sonia’s favourite ideas. They stress that humiliation isn’t required for growth, even if many of us only changed after being “beat down” by addiction. There’s a practical spiritual angle too.
Sonia and Arlina talk about how low self-worth can create a fake, overblown ego, and how self-doubt and humility can be “close cousins.” They keep it light with humour about quirky partners, “self-righteous anger,” and Sonia’s fear of Steps 8 and 9, with Arlina offering a “cheat code”: Step 8 is “just a list.” If you’re working the Steps, or just wrestling with what humility actually looks like in recovery, this conversation might help you ask: where could being “right-sized” make life a little more peaceful?
Arlina shares a simple gut-check guide for sensing what might be God’s will: if a hard decision brings genuine peace on the other side, that peace is strong evidence you’re moving in the right direction. They use real-life examples of ending unhealthy friendships and setting boundaries, and gently question why so many of us tolerate treatment we’d never accept for a loved child. Another big theme is ego and self-esteem.
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