6 Years 330 days - Investigation6 Years 330 days - Investigation
I'm Quitting Alcohol
Comedian David Boyle runs a foul-mouthed self-investigation into why his beard has suddenly gone grey and why he keeps waking at 5am. Through diet tweaks, supplements, blue blockers and cardio, he pokes fun at the strange side effects of trying to live healthier while staying off alcohol.
9:52•9 Apr 2026
Grey Beards, Broken Sleep and Boyle’s DIY Health Investigation
Episode Overview
- Small changes to diet, supplements, and medication can have unexpected knock-on effects, so Boyle checks each shift instead of blaming just one thing.
- Cleaning up food intake with more fish, lentils and less saturated fat is framed as a positive step, even if the cosmetic results (like grey hairs) feel confronting.
- Sleep issues might link to well-intentioned habits such as wearing blue-blocking glasses too early in the evening, so timing matters as much as the tool itself.
- Pushing hard with cardio while sleep is poor may leave the body feeling drained, suggesting recovery is just as important as effort.
- Rather than simply accepting age-related changes, Boyle experiments, tracks and jokes through it, showing that curiosity can sit alongside frustration.
“"I don't want to have fat hips, a grey beard, and a bald head. That's chaos. That's chaos for the spirit."”
How do people cope with the smaller, weirder side effects of getting healthier and staying off the booze? Comedian David Boyle turns that question into a mini detective story, zooming in on two crucial mysteries: his suddenly grey beard and his suddenly broken sleep. True to the five-minute format, Boyle keeps things fast, blunt, and pretty funny.
He shaves his head and beard for a writing session, expecting his "thick, lush, brown beard" to hold strong… only to spot "like 20 greys. Maybe even 25." From there, you’ll hear him work through a surprisingly detailed checklist of recent changes: a cleaned-up diet heavy on sardines, lentils, chia seeds, soy milk and salmon; sky-high omega-3s; cutting metformin; adding ashwagandha; and hammering four hours a week of cardio.
Alongside the grey-beard panic, he’s running a second investigation: why he keeps jolting awake around 5am after falling asleep perfectly. He suspects his beloved blue-blocking sunglasses might be backfiring by telling his body to wind down too early, leaving him with only five to five-and-a-half hours’ sleep a night. As he puts it, he hasn’t had a “green” sleep score in over 10 days.
Under the swearing and jokes, there’s a relatable theme here for anyone in recovery or just trying to live healthier: you fix one thing, something else goes sideways. Boyle jokes, worries and experiments in real time, refusing to accept, "It could be that I'm just an old cunt now" and wrestling with the idea of needing a gummy just to sleep.
If you like short, raw check-ins that show the messy, unglamorous side of self-improvement, this one gives you plenty to think about the next time your body starts acting weird while you’re trying to do everything "right". What strange little investigations are you running on yourself at the moment?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.
Related Episodes
Similar episodes from other shows in the catalogue.