#818 Social Anxiety & Selective Mutism in Children - Dr. Melissa Giglio#818 Social Anxiety & Selective Mutism in Children - Dr. Melissa Giglio
Mental Illness Happy Hour
Dr Melissa Giglio explains selective mutism and childhood social anxiety, sharing practical tools, treatment stories and the vital role of parents and teachers. The conversation highlights how small, steady steps can help quiet children speak more freely in school and beyond.
1:01:00•18 Sept 2026
Helping Quiet Kids Find Their Voices: Dr Melissa Giglio on Selective Mutism
Episode Overview
- Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder where children can speak comfortably at home but cannot speak in expected settings like school for long periods.
- Shyness usually fades with time, while selective mutism persists; photos and classroom behaviour often reveal a stark contrast with how the child is at home.
- Effective treatment focuses on gradual behavioural exposure, breaking tasks into tiny steps and helping children build "brave muscles" through repeated practice.
- Parents and teachers are coached to reduce overprotection and change their language and demands, so they support bravery instead of reinforcing avoidance.
- Intensive, play-based camps and structured school visits can rapidly increase speech, with some children moving from total silence to class presentations and stage performances.
“My goal is not to make your kid an extrovert. I want them to be the person that they are when they're at their best in more places.”
What drives someone to seek a life where anxious children can simply talk freely? This episode of Mental Illness Happy Hour zeroes in on selective mutism and childhood social anxiety with clinical psychologist Dr Melissa Giglio. You’ll hear Dr Giglio explain selective mutism in clear, practical language: children who "speak totally fine when they're comfortable" but become unable to speak in places like school for months or even years.
She stresses that these kids aren’t shy in the usual sense – "shy kids warm up" – and that many are bright, bossy and chatty at home while looking flat and withdrawn in the classroom. Her style is warm, playful and very concrete, focused on behavioural tools rather than heavy theory. She describes step-by-step exposure work, "building brave muscles" through tiny, doable challenges, and the importance of not bombarding anxious kids with questions the second you meet them.
A big theme is working with parents and teachers so they stop over-protecting and start gently stretching kids instead. As she puts it, "My goal is not to make your kid an extrovert… I want them to be the person that they are when they're at their best in more places." Dr Giglio shares stories of children who went from total silence at school to giving microphone presentations, sitting exams and acting on stage.
She also talks openly about heartbreaking situations where a child only speaks to one parent, or not at all to grandparents, and how family anxiety often sits in the background. Host Paul Gilmartin brings his usual mix of dark humour and honesty, admitting he knew "literally nothing" about selective mutism before this conversation and tying the ideas back to baby-step change for adults too.
If you’ve ever wondered whether a quiet child is "just shy" or something more, this episode might be a helpful starting point to rethink what bravery and support look like. Could hearing this be the nudge to look at anxiety – yours or a child’s – with a bit more curiosity and kindness?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.