#821 Incest & Recovery - Alle Hall#821 Incest & Recovery - Alle Hall
Mental Illness Happy Hour
Alle Hall talks with Paul Gilmartin about surviving incest, the deep links between childhood trauma and codependency, and the long journey towards genuine healing. The conversation touches on spirituality, sexuality and community, with both sharing personal recovery moments and practical ideas for finding safety and self-worth.
1:24:45•9 Oct 2026
Incest, Codependency and Finding a Way Back: Alle Hall’s Story
Episode Overview
- Codependency is framed as a common outcome of childhood trauma, with clear patterns like poor boundaries and carrying other people’s feelings.
- Addressing core trauma rather than individual addictions can reduce the constant cycle of switching between compulsive behaviours.
- Spiritual experiences and practices, such as workshops or Tai Chi, can help rebuild a sense that the universe is caring rather than hostile.
- Naming sexual violations as abuse or rape, rather than “a mistake”, is presented as a crucial step away from self-blame.
- Community, meetings and finding a supportive “tribe” are highlighted as central to long-term recovery and feeling less alone.
“You are not as fragile as you fear you are.”
What emotional and inspiring tales of recovery are out there? This episode centres on incest survivor and novelist Alle Hall, who talks candidly with host Paul Gilmartin about surviving extreme childhood sexual abuse and finding a path to healing that actually works for her. You'll hear Alle explain how codependency sits at the heart of many trauma responses, calling it “a vastly misunderstood disease” and stressing that it’s much more than a stereotype about spouses of alcoholics.
She breaks down the five forms of childhood trauma she learned about at The Meadows – physical, emotional, spiritual, sexual and intellectual – and how addressing the “big why” behind addictive behaviours can stop the constant cycle of swapping one addiction for another. Alle shares vivid moments from her own recovery, including a powerful inner-child exercise at The Meadows and a later experience in a quiet Laotian temple where, as she puts it, “this is compassion” came alive for her.
Paul adds his own story of feeling the universe’s love during a recovery workshop, underlining how connection and sharing can soften lifelong self-hatred. The conversation ranges from sexual anorexia and love addiction to asexuality, Tai Chi as a spiritual framework, and the heavy triggering impact of the Epstein revelations on survivors of abuse.
Through all of it, there’s a steady reminder that “you are not as fragile as you fear you are,” and that meetings, community and honest language – using “survivor”, not “victim” – can make a real difference. If you’re dealing with childhood trauma, sexual abuse, intimacy struggles or just wondering why relationships feel so hard, this episode offers hard-earned experience, plain talk and a sense that you don’t have to carry other people’s shame forever.
What might change for you if you stopped seeing yourself as the problem and started treating yourself as worth protecting?
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