ADHD Masking: Why You Feel Exhausted All the Time

ADHD Masking: Why You Feel Exhausted All the Time

How do people cope with the challenges of staying mentally "on" all day when their brain is wired for ADHD? This episode of ADHD Focus takes a close look at masking – the habit of hiding ADHD traits to fit in – and why it leaves so many adults utterly drained. Host Dr. David Pomeroy chats with ADHD coach and "recovering attorney" Evan Monez, who was almost 30 and practising law before her ADHD diagnosis.

She talks about high-achieving adults who seem polished and successful on the outside, while secretly relying on white lies like, "Oh, it's going great, I'll have it to you in a couple of days," when the project hasn’t even been started. That kind of survival strategy might keep careers afloat, but it comes with a heavy emotional bill: shame, anxiety, and constant fear of being found out.

You’ll hear how masking often begins unconsciously – from kids who shut down socially after being shamed, to girls who stay up until 1am perfecting homework so no one can criticise them. Dr. Pomeroy links this constant over-effort to burnout, depression, and even late-day sugar cravings as the ADHD brain hunts desperately for dopamine after a day of “holding it together”. Evan and David also compare the roles of coaching, therapy, and medication.

They discuss cognitive behavioural therapy for the negative self-talk that grows around masking, and how stimulants and well-timed doses can support executive function instead of relying on energy drinks and sweets. Group coaching and neurodivergent-safe spaces get a special mention as places where people can finally drop the mask and realise they’re far from alone.

If you’ve ever thought, "Everyone thinks I’m capable, but I’m exhausted and terrified they’ll see the truth," this conversation might feel uncomfortably familiar – and quietly relieving. Could your constant tiredness be less about willpower and more about the cost of pretending?