ADHD and Alcohol: What’s Really Going On?

ADHD and Alcohol: What’s Really Going On?

How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober when their own brain feels like it’s on fast‑forward? This Sober Awkward episode jumps straight into that messy overlap between ADHD and alcohol, with Vic getting very real about wondering, "maybe it wasn’t just the drinking." Vic shares how perimenopause has ramped everything up — feeling wired, overwhelmed and hypersensitive to rejection — and why she’s heading back to therapy and considering another ADHD assessment.

To make sense of it all, she chats with her long-time friend and alcohol-and-ADHD coach, Faye Lawrence, who brings both professional know‑how and lived experience. Faye explains that ADHD is a lifelong neurodevelopmental condition and that alcohol often arrives early as "an accidental sort of coping strategy" for a brain that’s busy, understimulated and craving relief.

She breaks down dopamine deficiency, reward deficiency syndrome, emotional dysregulation and rejection-sensitive dysphoria, showing why alcohol can feel like "respite from yourself" for ADHD’ers — and why stopping can feel so much harder. They talk about why classic sobriety tips can fall flat for an ADHD brain: rigid plans, relying on willpower, long-term goals and habit-building that ignores impulsivity and boredom.

Instead, Faye suggests tiny, flexible changes, experimenting with dopamine-boosting activities like movement, creativity and play, and building ADHD-friendly support, especially with others who "just get it". There’s science, there’s swearing, and there are tears, as Vic realises how much shame she’s carried for not being able to "just stop at one" and for feeling like the odd one out.

Faye gently reframes it: "It’s not our fault the way that our brains are wired" — but it is possible to work with that wiring rather than against it. If you’ve ever wondered why you drank the way you did, or why sobriety feels harder for you than for others, this conversation might be the kindest reality check you’ll hear this week. Could understanding your brain be the missing piece in your alcohol story?