Alan Durnwirth: 32 Years After an AVM Rupture and the Undercurrent That Shaped His LifeAlan Durnwirth: 32 Years After an AVM Rupture and the Undercurrent That Shaped His Life
Recovery After Stroke
Bill Gasiamis talks with stroke survivor Alan Durnwirth about living with an AVM from childhood through 32 years of recovery. Alan shares how medication, walking, family support and writing his memoir helped him move from depression and fear to genuine self-acceptance.
59:01•12 Oct 2026
Silent Fuse: Alan Durnwirth on Loving Himself After a Lifetime with an AVM
Episode Overview
- Undiagnosed absence and focal seizures in childhood can be mistaken for distraction or daydreaming.
- Long-term anti-seizure medication may stabilise seizures but can also affect mood, so regular review is important.
- Adapting work to personal pace, such as running a business from home, can support ongoing neurological recovery.
- Simple routines like daily walking, good nutrition and consistent medication form a practical maintenance programme.
- Reflecting on past experiences and writing them down can help release lingering anger and build self-acceptance.
“I can honestly say that I love myself now.”
What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? This conversation between host Bill Gasiamis and guest Alan Durnwirth gives a rare, long-term view of life after a brain AVM rupture and stroke. Alan was 24, engaged, and thriving in his first management role when he woke up one morning paralysed down his right side, barely able to say his fiancée’s name. Surgery followed just days later, but as Alan explains, the story started long before that.
As a child he had undiagnosed absence and focal seizures that teachers dismissed as daydreaming. Looking back, he realises he was “missing chunks of time” and living with constant anxiety without anyone ever checking his brain. You’ll hear how stroke and surgery reshaped everything: work, marriage, and his sense of self.
Alan talks about relearning to walk and speak, shifting from a fast-paced graphics job to a home-based business where he could work at his own speed, and relying heavily on his wife, whom he describes as his rock. He shares how long-term anti‑seizure medication left him depressed for 15 years, and how a later medication change triggered a frightening spiral, including paranoia and intrusive thoughts.
A big part of the chat is about what Alan calls his “maintenance programme”: anti‑seizure meds, eating well, and walking 10 miles a day to keep his mind settled. Those walks led him to reflect on his past, jot down memories, and eventually write his memoir, *Silent Fuse: Living With the Undercurrent That Shaped My Life*. Through that process, he stopped blaming others for missed diagnoses and started releasing decades of hurt. The standout moment?
Alan saying, “I can honestly say that I love myself now.” For anyone dealing with long-term neurological issues, medication, or the emotional fallout of serious illness, this story might prompt you to ask: what would your own maintenance programme look like?
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