Ashamed of Your Porn Struggle? You’re Not Alone

Ashamed of Your Porn Struggle? You’re Not Alone

What can we learn from those who have battled addiction? This conversation between Nancy Sabato and guest Crystal Renaud Day focuses on pornography addiction, shame, and faith, with a particular emphasis on how hard it can be for women to admit this struggle.

Crystal talks about realising she was "powerless to pornography" as a teenager, even while she was involved in church and trying to do all the "good godly things." She shares how her faith initially became another form of bargaining: could she pray, worship and work harder so that the addiction would simply disappear? Instead, she found herself stuck in a secret cycle, scared that if she told anyone, she’d be seen as "crazy" or sent away for treatment.

The turning point came when another woman bravely shared that she too had wrestled with pornography. Crystal describes the shock of hearing a female say, "this was my issue" and how that moment gave her the chance to say "me too" instead of walking away in isolation. From there, accountability, counselling and surrender to Jesus became the foundation of her recovery. Crystal stresses that "you cannot heal alone" and draws a sharp line between sobriety and genuine healing.

As she puts it, "sobriety is not the same thing as healing"; without dealing with the pain underneath, you’ll simply reach for something else, even if it looks more socially acceptable. For women overwhelmed by shame, she offers a clear first step: confession to God and then to a truly safe person, whether that’s a counsellor, church leader, friend or family member.

Bringing the struggle into the light, she says, stops it from festering in the dark and repeating the cycle. The conversation closes on a hopeful note: there is "lasting healing and wholeness" in Christ for those who feel powerless and alone. Could this be the nudge you need to talk to someone safe today?