Average Sucks with Michael BernoffAverage Sucks with Michael Bernoff
I Love Being Sober
Tim Westbrook and Michael Bernoff share a candid conversation about sobriety, language and identity, centred on Michael’s idea that "average sucks." Their chat reflects how changing words and self‑perception can support long‑term recovery and a more energetic, purposeful life.
56:19•24 May 2023
Average Sucks: Michael Bernoff on Language, Identity and Loving Sobriety
Episode Overview
- Changing the words you use about yourself (for example from "I'm working on it" to "I'm getting better at it") can shift identity and behaviour.
- Accepting the power of your influence helps you recognise how your choices impact others who may be struggling with addiction.
- Surrendering the need to figure everything out alone can open the door to mentoring, support and genuine change.
- Raising your personal "average" is more sustainable than chasing perfection or obsessing over failures.
- Introducing new options beyond drinking or using, such as reaching out for support, weakens the pull of old habits.
“I realized I'm responsible for my language. So when I took full ownership for my language, that's when things changed.”
What can we learn from those who have battled addiction? This episode brings together Tim Westbrook and guest Michael Bernoff for a lively, straight-talking conversation about sobriety, identity, and the hidden power of everyday language. Michael, author of *Average Sucks* and founder of the Human Communications Institute, shares how an "average" upbringing in New Jersey turned into controlling the liquor trade at school and heavy partying at Arizona State University.
He then walks through the turning points that shifted him into personal development, including encounters with classic self‑help books and mentorship from Jim Rohn. A big theme here is language. Michael explains that for years he chased courses and mentors but "never checked my own language." Once he realised "I'm responsible for my language. So when I took full ownership for my language, that's when things changed," his life and sobriety took on a different shape.
He contrasts phrases like "I'm working on it" with "I'm getting better at it," showing how subtle wording locks people into struggle or opens them up to growth. Sobriety comes into focus when Michael describes his decision to stop drinking on New Year’s Eve 2016. He talks about accepting “the power of my own influence” – recognising that as someone people look up to, his choices might give others permission to drink.
That mix of responsibility and self‑respect will resonate with anyone who’s had to rebuild their life in recovery. You’ll also hear about his concept of raising your "average," why identity matters more than vague limiting beliefs, and how changing habits often starts with making them less convenient and more annoying.
If you're curious how tweaks in language and identity can support long‑term recovery, this conversation might prompt you to ask: what story are you still telling yourself, and is it one you want to keep?
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