Being heard, and not hurt by one another – Jayneen and Shawn's storyBeing heard, and not hurt by one another – Jayneen and Shawn's story
Real Recovery
Jayneen and Shawn recount how their Christian marriage moved from infertility, affairs, and five years of separation to forgiveness, renewed faith, and a restored relationship. The hosts connect their journey to 12-step recovery principles and the centrality of God’s work in healing broken hearts.
49:38•19 Jul 2026
Being Heard, Not Hurt: Jayneen and Shawn’s Restored Marriage
Episode Overview
- Forgiveness was practised repeatedly over five years, becoming crucial for both personal peace and any chance of reconciliation.
- Hidden grief over infertility and poor communication created deep distance long before affairs were revealed.
- Small compromises, such as reading erotica, grew into larger sins and multiple relationships over time.
- A quiet encounter with God’s love at a women’s conference marked Jayneen’s turning back to Christ and to her husband.
- Structured counselling at Hope Restored taught them to truly listen and reflect each other’s words, shifting their pattern from hurting to hearing.
“There’s something about being heard by one another. Not hurt because we’d spent 15 years hurting each other.”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This conversation on Real Recovery follows Jayneen and Shawn, a Christian couple whose marriage was torn apart by infidelity, anger at God, and years of separation, then slowly pieced back together through forgiveness and faith. The episode starts with hosts Bill Arnold and George reflecting on Step One of the 12 steps and how trying to do "God’s job" leaves life feeling unmanageable.
That sets the stage for Jayneen and Shawn’s story: infertility, ministry pressures, and hidden grief that led to emotional distance, secret escape routes, and eventually Jayneen’s affairs and five years of separation.
Shawn explains how, despite biblical grounds for divorce and pressure from friends, he chose to keep forgiving: "Forgiveness sees things differently." Jayneen shares honestly about being "so angry at God" that she did "the worst thing" she could think of, starting with erotica online and escalating into multiple relationships.
Her turning point came at a women’s conference, where she pictured herself laying everything at the cross and heard that quiet assurance: "Janine, you know I love you." She returned home, asked Shawn’s forgiveness, and asked him to baptise her, publicly declaring that she was back with Christ. Together they attended Focus on the Family’s Hope Restored intensive, learning how to truly listen to one another. Shawn sums up their new pattern: "There’s something about being heard by one another.
Not hurt because we’d spent 15 years hurting each other." Ten years on, they describe a marriage that isn’t perfect but is honest, safeguarded, and grounded in mutual commitment to keep working on issues for the rest of their lives. If you’re wondering whether broken relationships, addiction, or anger at God can ever be repaired, this story might prompt you to ask: what would forgiveness and being truly heard change in your life?
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