Bob D. AA Male Disk #3Bob D. AA Male Disk #3
Recovery Radio Network
AA speaker Bob Darrell shares candid stories about fear, amends, money and family, showing how rigorous honesty and action shape long-term sobriety. His talk highlights the tension between ego and a Higher Power, and how letting go of old defences can open unexpected doors in recovery.
1:19:28•8 Jul 2026
Letting Go of the Candy Bar: Bob Darrell on Amends, Ego and Long-Term Sobriety
Episode Overview
- Clinging to familiar but harmful behaviours offers false security, much like the child who won’t release the candy bar stuck in the vending machine.
- Step 9 amends, especially financial ones, can feel impossible, yet consistent, humble repayment can restore both relationships and self-respect.
- Unpaid debts and hidden dishonesty in sobriety quietly erode spiritual health and can make alcohol and other escapes feel attractive again.
- Life often seems to reorganise around honest effort, with unexpected opportunities appearing after difficult amends are made.
- Long-term sobriety is threatened by complacency; continued meetings, sponsorship, service and step 10 are vital regardless of how good life feels.
“Either God is everything or he's nothing. He either is or he isn't. What's my choice to be?”
Curious about how others manage their sobriety journey? This talk from Bob Darrell, recorded for the Recovery Radio Network, speaks straight to anyone wrestling with step work, amends, and that sneaky ego that doesn’t retire just because the drink is gone. Bob uses a vivid childhood memory of a girl stuck in a vending machine because she won’t drop her candy bar to show how alcoholics cling to destructive habits for the illusion of security.
As he puts it, “We all got candy bars, don’t we?” – whether that’s alcohol, pornography, food, gossip, or secret financial corners we’d rather not sweep out. The heart of the talk centres on steps 6, 9 and 10. Bob talks honestly about being terrified of making amends, especially financial ones, and thinking he could never “pay back all the money” after a life of stealing and scams.
He shares concrete examples: repaying his father through years of coin-collecting, facing an employer after stealing cigarettes in sobriety, and the strange way life began to open up only after he did the hard, principled thing. There’s also a stark warning for people with time in AA. Bob describes how success, comfort and respect can quietly chip away at meetings, sponsorship and service until AA becomes a “sober elks” and relapse suddenly doesn’t seem so unthinkable.
He contrasts the loud voice of ego with the quiet pull of a Higher Power and keeps returning to one simple pivot: “Either God is everything or he’s nothing.
He either is or he isn’t.” If you’ve got a “stone in your shoe” around unmade amends or feel your programme has gone soft around the edges, this story-packed talk might nudge you to ask: what candy bar are you still gripping, and do you trust there might be two better ones waiting?
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