Bob D. AA Male Disk #4 (final)Bob D. AA Male Disk #4 (final)
Recovery Radio Network
Long-time AA member Bob Darrell reflects on ego, fear and self-will, contrasting his instincts with the practical actions suggested in Alcoholics Anonymous. He talks about meditation, daily inventory and service as simple tools that keep him grounded and useful in sobriety.
1:18:58•9 Jul 2026
Actions Over Feelings: Bob D on Ego, Prayer and Service in Long-Term Sobriety
Episode Overview
- Feelings are unreliable measures of recovery; sponsors look at concrete actions such as calls, meetings and service.
- Recovery often requires taking actions that are completely opposite to instinct, especially when afraid.
- Step 11 can be practised simply by following the Big Book’s nightly review and morning prayer and reflection.
- The ego loves spiritual superiority and can hide behind “positive thinking”, blocking honesty and growth.
- Service and Step 12 work, from detox visits to helping one person, provide relief from self-pity and fear.
“It’s the actions I take that cut the course of my life.”
What can we learn from those who have battled addiction? This talk from Bob Darrell, recorded for Recovery Radio Network, follows a long‑sober AA member as he looks honestly at ego, self‑will, and the daily actions that actually keep him sober.
Bob shares how, with double‑digit sobriety, money, prestige and three nearly $100,000 cars, he was quietly building “a house of cards based on self.” From that peak he walks through divorce, fear and depression, contrasting how he *felt* he was doing with how his sponsor judged things: not by emotions, but by actions like phone calls, meetings, and sponsoring others.
As Bob puts it, “It’s the actions I take that cut the course of my life.” You’ll hear funny, painfully relatable stories – ski slopes in Utah, a tiny bunny hill that feels like a cliff, kids overtaking him while he keeps falling over – all used to show how recovery often means leaning into fear instead of pulling back. He links this to flying tailspins, where every instinct to pull away is exactly what will crash the plane.
Bob spends much of the session unpacking Step 11 and his rocky relationship with prayer and meditation. He jokes about his 1970s yoga days, smug spiritual superiority, and how preconceived ideas about meditation kept him from actually doing what the AA Big Book suggests. He describes practical nightly reviews, morning guidance, and why he has sponsees email their Step 11 questions for accountability.
Step 12 and service run through everything: detox visits, prison panels, and the simple act of talking to the frightened new person. Bob keeps circling back to one theme: real change and relief come from turning towards God and helping “His kids”, even when that goes against every instinct. If you’ve ever wondered why your head screams one thing while AA suggests the opposite, this talk might be the nudge to try the actions anyway.
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