Can You Heal From Trauma If You Don't Fully Remember? with Guest Chuck BenincasaCan You Heal From Trauma If You Don't Fully Remember? with Guest Chuck Benincasa
The Recovered Life Show
Host Damon Frank and psychologist Dr. Chuck Benincasa talk about healing from trauma even when memories are incomplete, focusing on development, dissociation and neglect. The conversation links trauma to addiction recovery and highlights acceptance, safety and compassion as key parts of rebuilding an authentic life.
41:28•12 Oct 2026
Can You Heal From Trauma Without Full Memories?
Episode Overview
- Trauma-related memory gaps are often a protective response when support and resources were missing at the time of the event.
- Childhood development, dissociation, and neglect each affect how trauma is remembered, or not remembered, later in life.
- The body and nervous system store trauma through emotions, sensory cues and baseline arousal, even when clear images of events are missing.
- Digging for missing memories is not always necessary or helpful; reprocessing is most useful when intrusive symptoms show a memory is stuck.
- Acceptance and compassion, especially toward a self that never chose those experiences, are central to moving toward a more authentic life.
“When people have those gaps in their memory, it is usually because they did not have available to them the support and the resources that we require biologically as humans to process terrible things when they happen to us.”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This conversation on The Recovered Life Show takes a careful look at a big question: can you heal from trauma if you don’t fully remember what happened? Host Damon Frank chats with Dr. Chuck Benincasa, a licensed clinical psychologist specialising in complex trauma, dissociation, and severe abuse and neglect. Together, they talk about why memory gaps are often a normal survival response rather than proof that "nothing really happened." As Dr.
Benincasa puts it, "not remembering or finding a way to make that go away is the only solution in that absence of resources." You’ll hear trauma broken down into three main areas: early development, dissociation, and neglect. Dr.
Benincasa explains why many people can’t recall events before age four or five, why dissociation can interrupt how memories are stored, and how neglect is often remembered as "what didn’t happen but should have." He also highlights how the body stores trauma through nervous system responses and sensory cues, like someone remembering the smell of cinnamon but not the face of their assailant.
For those in addiction recovery, the episode offers relatable examples, such as a woman whose Sunday anxiety was tied to old patterns around alcohol availability, and how sober people can still be triggered by family holidays long after the actual danger has passed. Rather than pushing people to dig endlessly for missing memories, Dr. Benincasa stresses the importance of safety, support, acceptance and compassion.
He challenges the idea that healing requires perfect recall, and focuses instead on helping people move toward "the most authentic version" of themselves. If you’ve ever wondered whether healing is possible despite memory gaps, this conversation may leave you asking a gentler question: what do you need right now to feel safer in your own skin?
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