Changing the Narrative of Your StoryChanging the Narrative of Your Story
I Love Being Sober
Tim Westbrook talks with Wendy Adamson about how writing, honesty and service helped her shift from blame and chaos to meaningful recovery. The conversation focuses on changing the narrative of past trauma, breaking family patterns and supporting newcomers in their first year of sobriety.
43:29•29 Sept 2022
Changing Your Story: From Victimese to a Life That Matters
Episode Overview
- Changing the story from "everything is their fault" to "I am responsible" can make recovery feel possible.
- Writing about the past helps release emotional pressure and uncover personal patterns and responsibility.
- Being of service to others can shift focus away from self-pity and create a sense of purpose in sobriety.
- One person entering recovery can interrupt intergenerational trauma and create a ripple effect through the family.
- Families benefit from doing their own work, including setting firm but loving boundaries with the addicted person.
“Because of what happened to me, I am who I am today. Because of what happened to me, my life has value. I'm requalifying my past from victimhood to empowerment.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation between Tim Westbrook and mental health professional Wendy Adamson gives a raw, honest look at how changing the story you tell yourself can change your life. The show is aimed squarely at newcomers in recovery, especially those in their first year who feel stuck in blame, shame, and old patterns.
Tim sets the tone with a clear message: relapse doesn’t have to be part of recovery, and sobriety can actually be fun. From there, Wendy brings more than 25 years of clinical experience and her own intense history with addiction, mental illness, and family trauma. Wendy talks about starting out fluent in "victimese," blaming her schizophrenic mother, alcoholic father and cheating husband for everything. Through writing and recovery work, that language shifted.
As she puts it, "Because of what happened to me, I am who I am today... I'm requalifying my past from victimhood to empowerment." She explains how dissecting her past through writing helped her retrieve the younger parts of herself she had abandoned and turn her experiences into something that can help others. You’ll hear about intergenerational trauma, the ripple effect of one person getting sober, and why secrets keep people sick.
Wendy shares the story behind her memoir Mother Load, the moment of peace that changed her trajectory, and how being of service to a dying stranger on the street transformed her relationship with recovery. The conversation also touches on family systems, boundaries with children and toxic relatives, and why loved ones need to do their own healing rather than just sending "the addict" off to be fixed.
If you’re tired of feeling like a victim of your past and curious how writing, honesty and service can shift your story, this episode might get you asking: what narrative are you living by today?
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